An old Turkish Proverb goes like this:
"Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose."
Last night as my husband and I were getting ready to meet some close friends for dinner out, our home phone rang and the caller id established that our son was the one on the other end. He had just left to pick up his girlfriend for a dinner date. When I answered the phone, I knew right away that he was distraught. "Mom," he said, "I've been in a car wreck." Once I determined where he was, I told him that his Dad and I would be right there.
Our son is seventeen and 107 days old. He has been an excellent driver thus far, seemingly understanding the dangers of speeding as well as texting while driving. Yesterday, he was involved in his first automobile collision as he rear-ended a young mom who was accompanied by her six month old baby daughter. Thankfully, everyone was okay and no one was injured in this mishap.
An accident. That is what we call this because it was, obviously, not brought about intentionally. Still, our son was so upset and thankfully, he was also remorseful about his lapse in concentration which led to these circumstances.
In the short time since all of this came about, we have already heard plenty of reports about car accidents. Even his Dad and I shared tales in our past that we have been involved in. Some who shared their story cited trauma or tragically, the death of the driver or a passenger.
An incident such as this, even just a little fender-bender, causes me to take a pause and remember how fragile our lives really are. This reminds me that each day is a gift. It causes me to utter my most frequent prayer these days, which is simply two words: "Thank You".
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
TRANSITIONS
I spent the day with our son, a senior in high school, touring a beautiful southern college campus...Auburn University. Our daughter is a junior there, so we were able to go over and stay last night at her apartment. We only have the two children, so we are moving into a significant time of transition, a time of major movement in our pilgrimage, that will usher in a new season of life.
We face all kinds of transitions in life-going from grade school to high school; from single to married; from parent to grandparent, the passing on of loved ones. And in each transition, there is great potential for positive change OR for being unable to make needed changes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803-April 27, 1882) stated:
"Not in his goals but in his transitions is a man shown to be great."
In line with the usual transition our family is embarking on, many 50 something women today are walking through their own realignment because of job loss or another notable life change. I want to do my best as I journey through the many transitions that are sure to come in my future.
That is why I wanted us to take a quick look at an old Civil War hero to see how he handled his turning point. In his book entitled LIFE MAPPING, John Trent, Ph.D, brought forth the following details about the life of General Robert E. Lee.
General R. E. Lee was the ranking commander of the Army of Northern Virginia. Lee left his home a wealthy man, commanding a mighty army, committed to victory. He would return in defeat, paroled as a prisoner of war, to a countryside mired with economic depression. At home he would find an invalid wife, five unemployed adult children, and another son missing in action.
General Lee's leadership ability was recognized on both sides of the line. But it was how he handled himself as a civilian after the war that truly showed his character. After seeing thousands of his own men die and his homeland devastated, he was quoted as saying: "I have never felt bitter or vindictive feelings towards the enemy, and I have never seen the day I did not pray for them." He was so committed to reconciliation that one historian would say of Lee, he did "more than any other American to heal the wounds of war."
Lee dedicated his later life to writing hundreds of letters, urging his fellow Southerners to put away their anger and focus on Christ and rebuilding the Union. In doing so, he provided a guiding light to thousands of Southerners who followed his example.
General Lee showed an extraordinary ability to bend with transitions, and he did so by believing that changes large and small come from the hand of God.
But some people are broken by times of change and crushed by an inability to accept even minor movements of life over which they have no control.
It is doubtful that very many of us have gone through as many losses and transitions as this Civil War hero. However, we all face our own brand of changes that can either disarm us or empower us to move forward.
What time of transition or change are you up against today? Will you choose to look at the positive potential or dwell on the potential problems?
We face all kinds of transitions in life-going from grade school to high school; from single to married; from parent to grandparent, the passing on of loved ones. And in each transition, there is great potential for positive change OR for being unable to make needed changes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803-April 27, 1882) stated:
"Not in his goals but in his transitions is a man shown to be great."
In line with the usual transition our family is embarking on, many 50 something women today are walking through their own realignment because of job loss or another notable life change. I want to do my best as I journey through the many transitions that are sure to come in my future.
That is why I wanted us to take a quick look at an old Civil War hero to see how he handled his turning point. In his book entitled LIFE MAPPING, John Trent, Ph.D, brought forth the following details about the life of General Robert E. Lee.
General R. E. Lee was the ranking commander of the Army of Northern Virginia. Lee left his home a wealthy man, commanding a mighty army, committed to victory. He would return in defeat, paroled as a prisoner of war, to a countryside mired with economic depression. At home he would find an invalid wife, five unemployed adult children, and another son missing in action.
General Lee's leadership ability was recognized on both sides of the line. But it was how he handled himself as a civilian after the war that truly showed his character. After seeing thousands of his own men die and his homeland devastated, he was quoted as saying: "I have never felt bitter or vindictive feelings towards the enemy, and I have never seen the day I did not pray for them." He was so committed to reconciliation that one historian would say of Lee, he did "more than any other American to heal the wounds of war."
Lee dedicated his later life to writing hundreds of letters, urging his fellow Southerners to put away their anger and focus on Christ and rebuilding the Union. In doing so, he provided a guiding light to thousands of Southerners who followed his example.
General Lee showed an extraordinary ability to bend with transitions, and he did so by believing that changes large and small come from the hand of God.
But some people are broken by times of change and crushed by an inability to accept even minor movements of life over which they have no control.
It is doubtful that very many of us have gone through as many losses and transitions as this Civil War hero. However, we all face our own brand of changes that can either disarm us or empower us to move forward.
What time of transition or change are you up against today? Will you choose to look at the positive potential or dwell on the potential problems?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
RED AND YELLOW, BLACK AND WHITE
Have you read the novel, The Swan House, By, Elizabeth Musser?
My friend, Ann, chose this book for our monthly book club meeting on June 17th and I am halfway through it.
As I read her work, Musser has me thinking...
I am throughly enjoying the setting and the era of this eloquent story. The setting is Atlanta, Georgia, just minutes from where I grew up. The time is the early
1960's, when I was just about to meet my FFs for the very first time at Fernbank Elementary. (see earlier blog entitled FOREVER FRIENDS dated 5/28/09)
Musser shows stupendous skillfulness as she interweaves her story so that it includes many difficult subjects including mental illness, racism, and wealth versus poverty, just to name a few.
I mentioned to my FFs last week that I would not be blogging on Sundays, but here I am because my heart has something to say!
I love when a book that I am reading causes me to take pause and look at my world, my sphere of influence, a little differently. As I sat in church this morning, I casually noticed that there were the same number of Caucasian folks as African American folks on my row. I also made note of a black gentleman named Keith, on the stage, who was helping to lead our praise music. In addition, I observed my friend, Raven, an accomplished saxophonist, likewise on the stage, who happens to be African American gentleman, as well.
Obviously and thankfully, there are not separate restrooms and water fountains for the varied members and guests at our church.
As I sat in our worship service, I began to ponder the hateful racial scenes that Elizabeth Musser has written about in THE SWAN HOUSE, and I ponder the truth... that much has, gratefully, changed during my lifetime.
My mind wanders to an enduring tune I learned as a child...
"Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world."
My friend, Ann, chose this book for our monthly book club meeting on June 17th and I am halfway through it.
As I read her work, Musser has me thinking...
I am throughly enjoying the setting and the era of this eloquent story. The setting is Atlanta, Georgia, just minutes from where I grew up. The time is the early
1960's, when I was just about to meet my FFs for the very first time at Fernbank Elementary. (see earlier blog entitled FOREVER FRIENDS dated 5/28/09)
Musser shows stupendous skillfulness as she interweaves her story so that it includes many difficult subjects including mental illness, racism, and wealth versus poverty, just to name a few.
I mentioned to my FFs last week that I would not be blogging on Sundays, but here I am because my heart has something to say!
I love when a book that I am reading causes me to take pause and look at my world, my sphere of influence, a little differently. As I sat in church this morning, I casually noticed that there were the same number of Caucasian folks as African American folks on my row. I also made note of a black gentleman named Keith, on the stage, who was helping to lead our praise music. In addition, I observed my friend, Raven, an accomplished saxophonist, likewise on the stage, who happens to be African American gentleman, as well.
Obviously and thankfully, there are not separate restrooms and water fountains for the varied members and guests at our church.
As I sat in our worship service, I began to ponder the hateful racial scenes that Elizabeth Musser has written about in THE SWAN HOUSE, and I ponder the truth... that much has, gratefully, changed during my lifetime.
My mind wanders to an enduring tune I learned as a child...
"Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world."
Saturday, June 6, 2009
A MIST; AN INCH
"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes." James 4:14
At the risk of sounding like I have too much time on my hands (I don't) or that I am bored or lonely (I'm not), I must express that this Saturday was a very different one for me.
I began it by going to a very challenging seventy-five minute power boxing fitness class. I enjoyed connecting with two girlfriends there who were also up for the challenge. Whew! Once the class was over and I had finished a one mile walk with my 89 year old Daddy, I was in great need of a good 'ole bubble bath.
I got home and did just that! Magnificent!
Once all that was said and done, I prepared lunch for our son who would walk in from taking the SAT, college prep test, around 1:00 p.m. With my husband working, my son heading out with friends after his lunch, the house grew very quiet fast.
Now I consider myself in pretty good shape, still, my body was extremely fatigued from the intense morning workout.
As I took it easy around our home, I kept thinking about how as a 50 something woman I am working myself out of a job.
My journal from August 24, 1999 reads:
"I see my upcoming fall season as one that will give me time. My time has been so very wrapped up with readying our old house for the market and building this new one. TIME. There are so many things I NEED to accomplish, so many things I WANT to accomplish...but more than anything, I want to be in God's will. Better close here, 'cause I have many chores to do...I'm praying for God's will in my life."
As I look back on this entry nearly ten years ago, I see that my prayer has been answered. Our children have roots and wings, and as I have continued to seek His will in my life, I am closer to my God than I have ever been.
Benjamin Franklin said:
"YOU MAY DELAY, BUT TIME WILL NOT."
One of my dear friends likes to call our life "an inch".
So, I say, let's delight in the moments,
our inch,
while this TIME is here to be enjoyed!
At the risk of sounding like I have too much time on my hands (I don't) or that I am bored or lonely (I'm not), I must express that this Saturday was a very different one for me.
I began it by going to a very challenging seventy-five minute power boxing fitness class. I enjoyed connecting with two girlfriends there who were also up for the challenge. Whew! Once the class was over and I had finished a one mile walk with my 89 year old Daddy, I was in great need of a good 'ole bubble bath.
I got home and did just that! Magnificent!
Once all that was said and done, I prepared lunch for our son who would walk in from taking the SAT, college prep test, around 1:00 p.m. With my husband working, my son heading out with friends after his lunch, the house grew very quiet fast.
Now I consider myself in pretty good shape, still, my body was extremely fatigued from the intense morning workout.
As I took it easy around our home, I kept thinking about how as a 50 something woman I am working myself out of a job.
My journal from August 24, 1999 reads:
"I see my upcoming fall season as one that will give me time. My time has been so very wrapped up with readying our old house for the market and building this new one. TIME. There are so many things I NEED to accomplish, so many things I WANT to accomplish...but more than anything, I want to be in God's will. Better close here, 'cause I have many chores to do...I'm praying for God's will in my life."
As I look back on this entry nearly ten years ago, I see that my prayer has been answered. Our children have roots and wings, and as I have continued to seek His will in my life, I am closer to my God than I have ever been.
Benjamin Franklin said:
"YOU MAY DELAY, BUT TIME WILL NOT."
One of my dear friends likes to call our life "an inch".
So, I say, let's delight in the moments,
our inch,
while this TIME is here to be enjoyed!
Friday, June 5, 2009
"ATTAGIRL"
Today was a pleasing day as I got to begin it by meeting 3 of my best local buddies to hike the trails at our local National Park. We like to say this time together is good for our bodies, but even better for our hearts and our minds. We get to "solve the problems of our world"! We share the goings and comings of our families with one another. This is surely excellent group therapy! All three of my friends have at least one daughter in their life, as do I. This got me thinking about the young ladies who are in our sphere of influence. I challenged myself, as a 50 something woman, just as I desire to continue growing, how can I encourage my daughter, her friends, my nieces, and the many other young girls in my life to grow, as well?
One of my many beautiful nieces is an international medical missionary. We have a local lunch spot that we always go to when she is in town. This has become a favorite turf for us because we eat upstairs where we can look over the square of our town.
WE always talk and talk and talk. We share our hearts with one another. It was today at lunch that I was expressing a new direction for this blog...positively influencing the young women that are in our homes and in our path. It is this niece that has been journaling for many years, in part, because her Aunt Joan encouraged her to begin her own journal back when she was in high school. During our meal together, she stated that she had read a statement that illustrates this idea:
LIVE ON PURPOSE
As a 50 something woman, I want to live on purpose, giving, encouraging, loving, and laughing with the young women God puts in my path. Don't misunderstand! It is also vitally important to likewise impact our young men. However, because I am a woman who has lived for 50 something years, conceivably, I have a bit of wisdom to impart. I want to live out my days in such a way that I purposefully impact these girls to grow.
How about you? Which young woman might you be thinking of that could use a boost of confidence, an "Attagirl!" from you today?
One of my many beautiful nieces is an international medical missionary. We have a local lunch spot that we always go to when she is in town. This has become a favorite turf for us because we eat upstairs where we can look over the square of our town.
WE always talk and talk and talk. We share our hearts with one another. It was today at lunch that I was expressing a new direction for this blog...positively influencing the young women that are in our homes and in our path. It is this niece that has been journaling for many years, in part, because her Aunt Joan encouraged her to begin her own journal back when she was in high school. During our meal together, she stated that she had read a statement that illustrates this idea:
LIVE ON PURPOSE
As a 50 something woman, I want to live on purpose, giving, encouraging, loving, and laughing with the young women God puts in my path. Don't misunderstand! It is also vitally important to likewise impact our young men. However, because I am a woman who has lived for 50 something years, conceivably, I have a bit of wisdom to impart. I want to live out my days in such a way that I purposefully impact these girls to grow.
How about you? Which young woman might you be thinking of that could use a boost of confidence, an "Attagirl!" from you today?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
BE STILL AND KNOW
Summer might be a good time to start a journal! I have been spending a good part of this day being quiet, reading, journaling, "allowing my body to catch up with my soul", as my Mama often said. Mama would stretch out in bed or on the couch without an excuse, except to be still and spend time resting herself.
As a 50 something woman, I do not believe women do this enough!
We hustle and bustle around taking care that everyone has what they need and want, and we too often forget that we, too, have needs.
When I am in my "being still" mode, I frequently ask myself:
"Is there a private world beneath the noise and action at the surface?
A world that needs to be explored and maintained?
Can strength and resilience be developed that will bear up under the pressure at the surface?"
As I have shared before, I find that one practical way to learn to listen to my soul speak, and also to listen to God speak in response to my soul, is through journaling. In fact, I have three ring notebooks that date back to 1989.
With a pen in hand ready to write, I have realized that there is an expectancy, a readiness to hear anything God may want to whisper to me through reading and reflection.
Some that have never really tried journaling might find it a bit intimidating. Your journal can be a pretty purchased one, simply a spiral notebook in your favorite color, or anything in between. I use loose leaf three ring paper that I keep in a notebook that is five by seven in size. If you are not sure what to write, just sit, be still and wait. At first it may be difficult. You may feel self-conscious, odd, just waiting to begin writing. If you try this, I can almost guarantee that you will soon realize that the journaling will help you come to grips with an enormous part of your inner person that you may not have ever been truly honest with. This tool can help you to develop more inner candidness when you are ready to do so. Your fears and struggles can be surfaced and confronted through journaling. Especially in our economic times of this day, we need a place to calm ourselves, a place to express deep concerns we are having.
One trick I like to share with journal newbies it so set a kitchen timer for 10-20 minutes, and do not stop writing until the timer chimes. Just write what is on your mind, in your heart, or even just details of your day.
God offers us more than 7,000 promises from Genesis to Revelation, one of them being to watch over us. Still, He asks us to do our part:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 4:23
So why not consider starting a journal today? If you do, journal keeping can become a habit for you if you will stick with it for the better part of a year.
Most people quit too quickly, never acieving the habit pattern, and that is too bad.
In closing, I have found journaling to be a wonderful way to commune with our God, to hear His still, small voice, as stated so well in Psalm 46:10,
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
In the words of C. Austin Miles' old hymn "In the Garden", consider heeding his advice to BE STILL.
"He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing."
As a 50 something woman, I do not believe women do this enough!
We hustle and bustle around taking care that everyone has what they need and want, and we too often forget that we, too, have needs.
When I am in my "being still" mode, I frequently ask myself:
"Is there a private world beneath the noise and action at the surface?
A world that needs to be explored and maintained?
Can strength and resilience be developed that will bear up under the pressure at the surface?"
As I have shared before, I find that one practical way to learn to listen to my soul speak, and also to listen to God speak in response to my soul, is through journaling. In fact, I have three ring notebooks that date back to 1989.
With a pen in hand ready to write, I have realized that there is an expectancy, a readiness to hear anything God may want to whisper to me through reading and reflection.
Some that have never really tried journaling might find it a bit intimidating. Your journal can be a pretty purchased one, simply a spiral notebook in your favorite color, or anything in between. I use loose leaf three ring paper that I keep in a notebook that is five by seven in size. If you are not sure what to write, just sit, be still and wait. At first it may be difficult. You may feel self-conscious, odd, just waiting to begin writing. If you try this, I can almost guarantee that you will soon realize that the journaling will help you come to grips with an enormous part of your inner person that you may not have ever been truly honest with. This tool can help you to develop more inner candidness when you are ready to do so. Your fears and struggles can be surfaced and confronted through journaling. Especially in our economic times of this day, we need a place to calm ourselves, a place to express deep concerns we are having.
One trick I like to share with journal newbies it so set a kitchen timer for 10-20 minutes, and do not stop writing until the timer chimes. Just write what is on your mind, in your heart, or even just details of your day.
God offers us more than 7,000 promises from Genesis to Revelation, one of them being to watch over us. Still, He asks us to do our part:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 4:23
So why not consider starting a journal today? If you do, journal keeping can become a habit for you if you will stick with it for the better part of a year.
Most people quit too quickly, never acieving the habit pattern, and that is too bad.
In closing, I have found journaling to be a wonderful way to commune with our God, to hear His still, small voice, as stated so well in Psalm 46:10,
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."
In the words of C. Austin Miles' old hymn "In the Garden", consider heeding his advice to BE STILL.
"He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing."
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
A CHOICE FOR GROWTH
I've been reading from the book YOUNGER NEXT YEAR, By Chris Crowley and Henry
S. Lodge, M.D. again. As I read, I am reminded of their main theme of the book, a choice that we make each day once we reach our forties, our fifites, and beyond.
The choice is between "growth" and "decay".
Tonight, I reluctantly chose GROWTH. Now, the procrastination was not because I did not want to "grow", instead it was because I did not want to exercise my body...I felt tired... I meant to work out earlier, but I spent the day with my 89 year old Dad who was making a move from one apartment to another one, just down the hall. My job was not to move him, but to hang out with him while his things were moved and rearranged. We had a nice day as I brought him to our home, fixed him lunch and then ran a couple of errands together before returning him to his new apartment. I came on back home after that and meant to work out and instead, got busy around the house...laundry needed folding, dinner preparation, you know the drill.
So before I realized it, the time had slipped away and it appeared to be even more unlikely that I would give myself the gift of a workout today.
It was then that I remembered the book mentioned above...GROWTH or DECAY?
I mean if you look at it like that, how can you possibly choose decay?
So I grabbed my free weights and worked my arms, went through my squat routine to strengthen my legs, and gave my heart and lungs a chance to shine on the elliptical machine.
Returning my thoughts to my very first blog post on April 8, 2009, I am reminded of the reason I was motivated to do this blog entitled: 50 something woman.
I was interested in this because I finally made the conscious decision to take care of myself, to put myself on "the list" as often as possible.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make ultimately are our own responsiblity."
The above mentioned book reminds us that "...the key to overriding the decay code are daily exercise, emotional commitment, reasonable nutrition, and a real engagement with living. But it starts with exercise." (see p. 36)
So let us engage ourselves in life and remember that every day matters.
Yes, LET'S GROW TOGETHER!
S. Lodge, M.D. again. As I read, I am reminded of their main theme of the book, a choice that we make each day once we reach our forties, our fifites, and beyond.
The choice is between "growth" and "decay".
Tonight, I reluctantly chose GROWTH. Now, the procrastination was not because I did not want to "grow", instead it was because I did not want to exercise my body...I felt tired... I meant to work out earlier, but I spent the day with my 89 year old Dad who was making a move from one apartment to another one, just down the hall. My job was not to move him, but to hang out with him while his things were moved and rearranged. We had a nice day as I brought him to our home, fixed him lunch and then ran a couple of errands together before returning him to his new apartment. I came on back home after that and meant to work out and instead, got busy around the house...laundry needed folding, dinner preparation, you know the drill.
So before I realized it, the time had slipped away and it appeared to be even more unlikely that I would give myself the gift of a workout today.
It was then that I remembered the book mentioned above...GROWTH or DECAY?
I mean if you look at it like that, how can you possibly choose decay?
So I grabbed my free weights and worked my arms, went through my squat routine to strengthen my legs, and gave my heart and lungs a chance to shine on the elliptical machine.
Returning my thoughts to my very first blog post on April 8, 2009, I am reminded of the reason I was motivated to do this blog entitled: 50 something woman.
I was interested in this because I finally made the conscious decision to take care of myself, to put myself on "the list" as often as possible.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make ultimately are our own responsiblity."
The above mentioned book reminds us that "...the key to overriding the decay code are daily exercise, emotional commitment, reasonable nutrition, and a real engagement with living. But it starts with exercise." (see p. 36)
So let us engage ourselves in life and remember that every day matters.
Yes, LET'S GROW TOGETHER!
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