We received some difficult news last night. Our 25 year old nephew, my sister's son, Brad, has passed away. This was expected, not shocking, still bringing sorrow to the depths of our souls.
Brad was injured in an accidental fall on June 24, 2008. He suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and went to surgery the next evening. Since then, Brad has been moved from the Neurology ICU, a Long-Term Acute Care Center, to a Nursing Home.
As I consider the past months since Brad's fall, I am once again, humbled by this family's response to this enormous tragedy.
Several images come to my mind today:
*On July 17, 2008, Brad's father's courageous acknowledgement when bad news was discussed. The doctor said "I know this is difficult news to hear", and the response was: "...and it must be very hard news to deliver as well."
*Our niece, Brad's sister, even amidst her deep sadness shared wisdom from her heart just before our Thanksgiving Feast in front of 30 family members.
*My sister, Brad's mother and the statement she made out loud within 48 hours of her son's accident: "I know God and I know, He knows me."
*Our son, Walker, Brad's cousin sharing the scripture reference Philippians 4:10-13, and stating that in all of his life, he had never seen a better example of this than the one set by his Uncle Rhys, Aunt Laura Lea and his cousin, Pamela.
All of this reminds me of a song from the play RENT. "525,600 MINUTES." Did you know that the young author of RENT was very sick and died before the opening night? This play, along with this song, spoke to the hearts of all who were blessed to be in the audience.
Why? Perhaps it is because everyone wants to experience a meaningful life while on this earth. We all want to take the minutes of our lives and make them count.

The song goes like this:

525,600 minutes.
525,600 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes,
How do we measure a year?

In daylights-in sunsets,
In midnights-in cups of coffee,
In inches-in miles,
In laughter-in strife.

In 525,600 minutes.
How do we measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.

Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.

525,600 minutes.
How do we measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried,
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died.

It's time now-to sing out
Tho'the story never ends.
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Measure the love.

Measure, measure your life in LOVE.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.

So as we remember Bradford Gordon Lamkie, born on April 16, 1984, we will measure his life in love.
It is with great assurance that I can say that the best things in life are not things at all.
They are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS.

FILL UP YOUR TANK WITH LOVE!

Our small group in church is studying the book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate, By, Gary Chapman. Today, we were talking about Chapter 2~Keeping the Love Tank Full. "Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse deserts, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unberable, and hardships our plight in life."
While this author's main emphasis is on the husband and wife relationship, I would like for us to take a look at self-love for the 50 something woman.
Yes, everyone needs love, that is clear, but we also need to extend love to ourselves, giving ourselves mercy and grace as we journey through this life. Again, we expend a lot of time and energy caring for and loving the people in our homes and we must not forget to love ourselves...treat ourselves with kindness. That means we cannot allow ourselves to be in the habit of repetitive self criticism, working ourselves to exhaustion, living an unbalanced life with no time for rest, relaxation, restoration and recreation.
How is your love tank looking? Are you running on empty? Let's not wait for others to fill it up, let's fill it up ourselves! Give yourself an "atta girl!" today.

SATURDAY, SATURDAY, EVER LOVING SATURDAY

Today is Saturday, and a rather quiet one here in our home. I am not complaining, only remembering Saturdays in the past that were not so quiet.
From my personal journal:

Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Today is the day..." Mama's favorite verse in the Bible. (Note: My Mama passed away on 10/24/06 just 4 months after a cancer diagnosis)
"Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24
It is 11:00 a.m. and we will get in our packed pick-up truck at 12:30 to drive all Leah's STUFF to Auburn University. She'll come home with us and then return on Monday 8/6/07 to begin RUSH and her freshman year.
I awakened at 8:30 a.m. after a deep night's sleep. Since then, I cooked a wonderful breakfast for Leah and Walker-cheese eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, biscuits, juice.
Of all the many breakfasts I've prepared for both kids, this was the last one before our life changes forever. Our little girl, our first born, goes to college today.
The good news is that all of this change is GOOD change. She is amazingly healthy. She is bright. She is extremely happy with her college choice. She is a child of God. All of that, (and much more!) is much, very much, to be thrilled about...and I am!
But of course, part of me weeps over the passage of time-my memory bank is FULL of so many times with Leah-her riding in the seat of the grocery cart, playing in the balls at McDonalds, riding in a limo in Chicago when she was photographed for cover of American Girl magazine in 1998, helping with and loving on her little brother, floor play with her Daddy, dressed in formal wear with a handsome young man ready to go to the prom, and SO MUCH MORE!
All of these times take me back to a time when she was smaller and really needed me. What I must remember is that the need is still there, but it is very different. Her greater need now is to find out who she will be come and she is doing just that today. We are blessed to have a strong love relationship between us.
So, as my friend, Donna, advised, I will embrace this season.
It is a season I wouldn't want to miss for anything in the world.

GIVE YOURSELF A PRESENT!

Last Christmas, one of the main things I wanted for a gift was a new pair of walking shoes. In the midst of my weight loss journey, I had worn the tread off of my old ones.
Opening this gift on Christmas morning was wonderful! Later after the tree was done and wrapping paper was everywhere, I decided to go work out on the treadmill. The cool part of this was that in my whole life, I had never even thought about working out on Christmas Day. In the past, the day was filled with food preparation, gifts, family, perhaps a nap after a huge feast.
However, Christmas Day 2008 was different because I decided to give myself a present! The gift to myself was to take time out for a good, calorie-burning workout. And I did it!
Since then, whenver I take time out to work out in some way, I always consider it a present to myself. How about you? Have you given yourself a gift lately?
Remember that consistently doing some type of exercise is more important than the type or amount of exercise.

LIVE YOUR DREAM

I was at our son, Walker's tennis banquet tonight and spoke with friend of mine about this "season" of our lives. She had been reading my blog and we talked about how so many of us feel a little out of sorts when our children leave the home and "the children" have been our main job, if not our only one, for many, many years.
Let's all take time out to consider and then realize our dreams...perhaps just like Susan Boyle, a candidate in the Britain's Got Talent 2009 contest.
My friend, Lynn sent this to me via email and I had to share it with you!
If you have not seen Susan's performance, you must as soon as possible.
Go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PP1KOyaqaQ

After you view this, consider what your dream, your passion is, then let's go after them together!

Let me know what you think about Susan Boyle's "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

WHICH PATH?

Today as I was driving home, there was a huge traffic jam in my community, a suberb just north of Atlanta. All of the roads within blocks from the square in all directions were tangled up with congestion. I was on a road just a few cars from a RR crossing, which should have been a fine route home, except for the fact that the train was sitting at a dead stop.
What to do? Which route to take? Do I wait on the train? If so, will it be a terribly long wait? As I sat and processed all this, many commuters behind me had already begun to make their decision and were turning around. I was hesitant to do this because as I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw that all the roads were blocked. So, I choose to sit and wait. 5, 10, 20, 25 minutes while cars all around me choose to perform u-turns. I open both windows and allow the cool spring day to blow into my car. I hear shouts of the children at a nearby church playground, and I wait on this train that may never move.
As I continued to wait, I thought about how in life we have a lot of paths we can choose. I was reminded of Robert Frost's memorable poem:
"The Road Not Taken"
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,...and I-took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Now that we are 50 something women, it may seem that we are faced with more news than usual, and the news, unfortunately, is not always good. Maybe it is because our circle of friends has broadened as we have grown. Perhaps it is because we have greater knowledge, greater wisdom, shall I say, about what can come about as life progresses.
Whatever the reason, it would do our hearts good to consider what path we will take when faced with difficult news. We can collapse into nothingness...and if we do that for a bit, it is understandable. We can decide to take the path of courage amidst trial and follow down that path with encouragement from God and friends who care. WE might choose anger and stay stuck there for awhile. And sometimes news will just cause us to sit and wait until it sinks in. If we really stop and think about it, we can even choose to look for the upside of a situation. As I waited for the train to move, an elderly gentleman, a pedestrian, walked over to my car and instructed me on how, in his opinion, I should turn around and find a new route. And I did...arriving home in less than a half hour.
Which path will you choose today?

YES, It's a new day!

Now that I believe I am back on track with my fitness and food plan, I want to share a few things that I have found to be very helpful. First of all, fitness is vital for us to feel good the rest of our journey. So, I look for ways to get fit at every turn! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! Take the stairs, never the elevator. Park far from the store fronts. Walk the dog. Hike a mountain. Take a power walk with a heart friend. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
And now for a word from Bob Greene's Best Life program: "Although the scale may inch up during or after a holiday, keep in mind that weight fluctuations are perfectly normal. To gain an actual pound of body fat, you'd have to consume a lot of calories: 3,500 to be exact-and this is on top of what you normally eat in a given day. And even if the number on the scale does climb, that doesn't mean you've gained actual body fat. When you step on a scale, you're weighing muscle, bone, body fat, water (one gallon weighs 8 lbs), undigested food, and waste that your body has not eliminated yet." (see thebestlife.com for more)
Another resource I have found to be very motivating is a paperback book you can pick up anywhere: YOUNGER NEXT YEAR By, Chris Crowley & Henry S. Lodge, M.D. There is copy for women (hot pink) and one for men (bright yellow) My copy is torn and tattered and highlighted because I have read and reread many parts of it in the past year.
I don't know about you, but my main goal has become to FEEL GOOD, not to get skinny for some special reunion, wedding or another occasion. Very simply to feel good and be as healthy as I can be.
So here we go! Today is a new day!