I took a bike ride today by myself from the Kennesaw Mountain Visitor's Park to the Marietta Square, and back, about 3 miles each way. My plan was to ride to the square for exercise, visit our Hallmark store to purchase a few greeting cards and then ride back. I decided to visit dk gallery, a new art gallery on our square, owned by our good friend, Donna. I knew that ordinarily, Donna was not in on Mondays, but I thought I might get lucky and have an unexpected visit with her today.
The weather was beautiful for a bike ride, not too hot and not too cool...just right!
And as my good fortune would have it, Donna was in and not too busy for us to have a visit.
I once heard a quote by Seneca that fits with my day and this very special friend:
"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."
I had not had a chance to share about Brad's celebration service and all that had happened in the past couple of weeks, so we shared from our hearts for a little while. Again, I considered how very important friendship and fitness are for the 50 something woman! The bike ride was strenuous enough to make me feel like I had some exercise and my time with Donna was just enough to fill me up with love and friendship.
How about you? Are you making sure that you take care of yourself by taking time out for friendship and fitness. If not, why not?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
OUR PARENTS
The 50 something woman many times finds herself in the midst of taking care of aging parents while she might still be raising her children and/or helping with and loving on some grandchildren, and possibly even holding down a job, all at the same time. I can't identify with the grandchildren season at all yet, but I certainly can relate to the care of aging, and often, ailing parents.
Today, I visited the mother of one of my dear friends. This mom has Alzheimer's Disease. Did you know that 5.3 million people have been diagnosed with this disease in the United States, alone? But when the patient is your mother or father, this can be a very lonely place to be. Mrs. Land, my friend's mother was diagnosed with A.D. several years ago. At this time, she cannot speak and rarely knows her loved ones when they visit her. She cannot walk alone and is cared for 24/7 by a loving staff. This has been a lonely path for my friend, as she has often felt that she was the only one living in a situation as difficult as this.
Once again, we must remember that no matter our circumstances, we MUST make time for ourselves. Time for a power walk, time with friends, and time to BE STILL. When we allow ourselves time for just us, we will be stronger and better equipped to handle whatever the day might bring. If you know someone in your sphere of influence that is dealing with a similar experience as my friend, reach out and encourage them in some way.
Seize the moments to love your parents while you have them.
And recall the happy times if they have passed on.
Yes, remember the happy times...until you meet again on the other side.
Today, I visited the mother of one of my dear friends. This mom has Alzheimer's Disease. Did you know that 5.3 million people have been diagnosed with this disease in the United States, alone? But when the patient is your mother or father, this can be a very lonely place to be. Mrs. Land, my friend's mother was diagnosed with A.D. several years ago. At this time, she cannot speak and rarely knows her loved ones when they visit her. She cannot walk alone and is cared for 24/7 by a loving staff. This has been a lonely path for my friend, as she has often felt that she was the only one living in a situation as difficult as this.
Once again, we must remember that no matter our circumstances, we MUST make time for ourselves. Time for a power walk, time with friends, and time to BE STILL. When we allow ourselves time for just us, we will be stronger and better equipped to handle whatever the day might bring. If you know someone in your sphere of influence that is dealing with a similar experience as my friend, reach out and encourage them in some way.
Seize the moments to love your parents while you have them.
And recall the happy times if they have passed on.
Yes, remember the happy times...until you meet again on the other side.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
LIVE YOUR QUESTION
An anonymous poet once said: "Sometimes when you don't know the answer, live the question."
As a 50 something woman, I have realized more than ever that sometimes the questions that we have in this life do not have answers that are easy to uncover...
WHY did someone have to die so soon?
WHY can't _____ and _____ get along better?
WHY does this habit have such a strong hold on me?
WHY is this loved one living with a disability?
WHY was my husband unfaithful to me? OR
WHY did my husband die so young leaving me with the children?
FILL IN THE BLANK WITH SOME OF YOUR WHYS:_______________________________
As we journey through life, I think it is important to pray and talk to others about the issues in our lives, but sometimes the answers still don't come this side of heaven.
So what do we do?
WE LIVE THE QUESTION. We submit ourselves to the truth that we do not know the answer and we live the question, recognizing that the question may always be with us.
In the book CELEBRATION of DISCIPLINE, By, Richard Foster, the author speaks to this on page 111:
"I said that every discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. People will spend weeks, months, even a lifetime, in a perpetual stew because something did not go as they wished. They will get mad about it. They will act as if their very life hangs on the issue. They may even get an ulcer, develop health problems over it."
So, today, take a few moments to consider what "questions" have been gnawing at you, and make the choice to simply breathe and live out your days with an understanding that some of the "answers" are not for us to know just now.
As a 50 something woman, I have realized more than ever that sometimes the questions that we have in this life do not have answers that are easy to uncover...
WHY did someone have to die so soon?
WHY can't _____ and _____ get along better?
WHY does this habit have such a strong hold on me?
WHY is this loved one living with a disability?
WHY was my husband unfaithful to me? OR
WHY did my husband die so young leaving me with the children?
FILL IN THE BLANK WITH SOME OF YOUR WHYS:_______________________________
As we journey through life, I think it is important to pray and talk to others about the issues in our lives, but sometimes the answers still don't come this side of heaven.
So what do we do?
WE LIVE THE QUESTION. We submit ourselves to the truth that we do not know the answer and we live the question, recognizing that the question may always be with us.
In the book CELEBRATION of DISCIPLINE, By, Richard Foster, the author speaks to this on page 111:
"I said that every discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. People will spend weeks, months, even a lifetime, in a perpetual stew because something did not go as they wished. They will get mad about it. They will act as if their very life hangs on the issue. They may even get an ulcer, develop health problems over it."
So, today, take a few moments to consider what "questions" have been gnawing at you, and make the choice to simply breathe and live out your days with an understanding that some of the "answers" are not for us to know just now.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
REMEMBERING BRAD TODAY
TODAY was truly a gift. TODAY was a day to gather with family and remember our 25 year old nephew, my sister, Laura Lea's son. TODAY was a day to remember BRAD.
TODAY was a day to celebrate the truth that God is alive and interested in the details of our lives. "TODAY was the day that the Lord made and we DID rejoice and we WERE glad in it." Psalm 118:24 ( My Mama's favorite verse in the entire Bible. She passed away in October 2006 after only 4 months of cancer and she claimed this verse daily all of her life)
Yes, TODAY was a gift I will remember always.
It began at Atlanta Hospice Chapel with 40 family members and close friends, along with many of our nephew, Brad's caretakers from the nursing home he has spent the past 4 months at.
Just a little background for those of you that are unaware and may be wondering...On June 24, 2008, Brad was 24 when he fell onto the concrete from his six four height and suffered a TBI. (traumatic brain injury) We knew right away that his injury was extremely serious and he went through brain surgery 24 hours later. Though Brad did show occasional signs of wakefulness, he never knew us and really showed few significant signs that he would make a recovery, but we, his family, kept hoping and praying. God answered our prayers in a different sort of way...After ten long months, with frequent trips to the emergency room from Signature Healthcare of Atlanta where he was being cared for, Brad passed peacefully in his sleep on Sunday night, April 19, 2009, just after he reached his 25th birthday.
(see caringbridge.org re: bradlamkie)
Now, you might be saying or at least thinking, how can we "rejoice" over such sad circumstances? Here are some of the reasons: God's provision of excellent health care every step of the way, the love, support, and prayers from friends, the realization that when we seek God, we WILL find Him, (James 4:8 and Jeremiah 29:13) the comfort that is provided by food from friends and fellowship with family at a sad time like this.
After the service, we gathered in our home to share photos and memories of Brad's short life. We enjoyed chicken pot pie, salads, an array of incredible desserts, all prepared by friends who care. WE laughed, we cried, we shared smiles and sighs. We loved on each other and held each other tightly. Our daughter came home from college to be with us. Brad's cousins traveled over from Charleston to be with us.
My sister, Laura Lea, Brad's mother, took each niece and nephew's face and said, nose to nose, "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY."
They all, each one, listened intently.
Yes, TODAY was a gift.
TODAY was a day to celebrate the truth that God is alive and interested in the details of our lives. "TODAY was the day that the Lord made and we DID rejoice and we WERE glad in it." Psalm 118:24 ( My Mama's favorite verse in the entire Bible. She passed away in October 2006 after only 4 months of cancer and she claimed this verse daily all of her life)
Yes, TODAY was a gift I will remember always.
It began at Atlanta Hospice Chapel with 40 family members and close friends, along with many of our nephew, Brad's caretakers from the nursing home he has spent the past 4 months at.
Just a little background for those of you that are unaware and may be wondering...On June 24, 2008, Brad was 24 when he fell onto the concrete from his six four height and suffered a TBI. (traumatic brain injury) We knew right away that his injury was extremely serious and he went through brain surgery 24 hours later. Though Brad did show occasional signs of wakefulness, he never knew us and really showed few significant signs that he would make a recovery, but we, his family, kept hoping and praying. God answered our prayers in a different sort of way...After ten long months, with frequent trips to the emergency room from Signature Healthcare of Atlanta where he was being cared for, Brad passed peacefully in his sleep on Sunday night, April 19, 2009, just after he reached his 25th birthday.
(see caringbridge.org re: bradlamkie)
Now, you might be saying or at least thinking, how can we "rejoice" over such sad circumstances? Here are some of the reasons: God's provision of excellent health care every step of the way, the love, support, and prayers from friends, the realization that when we seek God, we WILL find Him, (James 4:8 and Jeremiah 29:13) the comfort that is provided by food from friends and fellowship with family at a sad time like this.
After the service, we gathered in our home to share photos and memories of Brad's short life. We enjoyed chicken pot pie, salads, an array of incredible desserts, all prepared by friends who care. WE laughed, we cried, we shared smiles and sighs. We loved on each other and held each other tightly. Our daughter came home from college to be with us. Brad's cousins traveled over from Charleston to be with us.
My sister, Laura Lea, Brad's mother, took each niece and nephew's face and said, nose to nose, "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY."
They all, each one, listened intently.
Yes, TODAY was a gift.
Monday, April 20, 2009
We received some difficult news last night. Our 25 year old nephew, my sister's son, Brad, has passed away. This was expected, not shocking, still bringing sorrow to the depths of our souls.
Brad was injured in an accidental fall on June 24, 2008. He suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and went to surgery the next evening. Since then, Brad has been moved from the Neurology ICU, a Long-Term Acute Care Center, to a Nursing Home.
As I consider the past months since Brad's fall, I am once again, humbled by this family's response to this enormous tragedy.
Several images come to my mind today:
*On July 17, 2008, Brad's father's courageous acknowledgement when bad news was discussed. The doctor said "I know this is difficult news to hear", and the response was: "...and it must be very hard news to deliver as well."
*Our niece, Brad's sister, even amidst her deep sadness shared wisdom from her heart just before our Thanksgiving Feast in front of 30 family members.
*My sister, Brad's mother and the statement she made out loud within 48 hours of her son's accident: "I know God and I know, He knows me."
*Our son, Walker, Brad's cousin sharing the scripture reference Philippians 4:10-13, and stating that in all of his life, he had never seen a better example of this than the one set by his Uncle Rhys, Aunt Laura Lea and his cousin, Pamela.
All of this reminds me of a song from the play RENT. "525,600 MINUTES." Did you know that the young author of RENT was very sick and died before the opening night? This play, along with this song, spoke to the hearts of all who were blessed to be in the audience.
Why? Perhaps it is because everyone wants to experience a meaningful life while on this earth. We all want to take the minutes of our lives and make them count.
The song goes like this:
525,600 minutes.
525,600 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes,
How do we measure a year?
In daylights-in sunsets,
In midnights-in cups of coffee,
In inches-in miles,
In laughter-in strife.
In 525,600 minutes.
How do we measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes.
How do we measure the life
Of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried,
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died.
It's time now-to sing out
Tho'the story never ends.
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Measure the love.
Measure, measure your life in LOVE.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
So as we remember Bradford Gordon Lamkie, born on April 16, 1984, we will measure his life in love.
It is with great assurance that I can say that the best things in life are not things at all.
They are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS.
Brad was injured in an accidental fall on June 24, 2008. He suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and went to surgery the next evening. Since then, Brad has been moved from the Neurology ICU, a Long-Term Acute Care Center, to a Nursing Home.
As I consider the past months since Brad's fall, I am once again, humbled by this family's response to this enormous tragedy.
Several images come to my mind today:
*On July 17, 2008, Brad's father's courageous acknowledgement when bad news was discussed. The doctor said "I know this is difficult news to hear", and the response was: "...and it must be very hard news to deliver as well."
*Our niece, Brad's sister, even amidst her deep sadness shared wisdom from her heart just before our Thanksgiving Feast in front of 30 family members.
*My sister, Brad's mother and the statement she made out loud within 48 hours of her son's accident: "I know God and I know, He knows me."
*Our son, Walker, Brad's cousin sharing the scripture reference Philippians 4:10-13, and stating that in all of his life, he had never seen a better example of this than the one set by his Uncle Rhys, Aunt Laura Lea and his cousin, Pamela.
All of this reminds me of a song from the play RENT. "525,600 MINUTES." Did you know that the young author of RENT was very sick and died before the opening night? This play, along with this song, spoke to the hearts of all who were blessed to be in the audience.
Why? Perhaps it is because everyone wants to experience a meaningful life while on this earth. We all want to take the minutes of our lives and make them count.
The song goes like this:
525,600 minutes.
525,600 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes,
How do we measure a year?
In daylights-in sunsets,
In midnights-in cups of coffee,
In inches-in miles,
In laughter-in strife.
In 525,600 minutes.
How do we measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes.
How do we measure the life
Of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried,
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died.
It's time now-to sing out
Tho'the story never ends.
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Measure the love.
Measure, measure your life in LOVE.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
So as we remember Bradford Gordon Lamkie, born on April 16, 1984, we will measure his life in love.
It is with great assurance that I can say that the best things in life are not things at all.
They are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
FILL UP YOUR TANK WITH LOVE!
Our small group in church is studying the book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate, By, Gary Chapman. Today, we were talking about Chapter 2~Keeping the Love Tank Full. "Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse deserts, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unberable, and hardships our plight in life."
While this author's main emphasis is on the husband and wife relationship, I would like for us to take a look at self-love for the 50 something woman.
Yes, everyone needs love, that is clear, but we also need to extend love to ourselves, giving ourselves mercy and grace as we journey through this life. Again, we expend a lot of time and energy caring for and loving the people in our homes and we must not forget to love ourselves...treat ourselves with kindness. That means we cannot allow ourselves to be in the habit of repetitive self criticism, working ourselves to exhaustion, living an unbalanced life with no time for rest, relaxation, restoration and recreation.
How is your love tank looking? Are you running on empty? Let's not wait for others to fill it up, let's fill it up ourselves! Give yourself an "atta girl!" today.
While this author's main emphasis is on the husband and wife relationship, I would like for us to take a look at self-love for the 50 something woman.
Yes, everyone needs love, that is clear, but we also need to extend love to ourselves, giving ourselves mercy and grace as we journey through this life. Again, we expend a lot of time and energy caring for and loving the people in our homes and we must not forget to love ourselves...treat ourselves with kindness. That means we cannot allow ourselves to be in the habit of repetitive self criticism, working ourselves to exhaustion, living an unbalanced life with no time for rest, relaxation, restoration and recreation.
How is your love tank looking? Are you running on empty? Let's not wait for others to fill it up, let's fill it up ourselves! Give yourself an "atta girl!" today.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
SATURDAY, SATURDAY, EVER LOVING SATURDAY
Today is Saturday, and a rather quiet one here in our home. I am not complaining, only remembering Saturdays in the past that were not so quiet.
From my personal journal:
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Today is the day..." Mama's favorite verse in the Bible. (Note: My Mama passed away on 10/24/06 just 4 months after a cancer diagnosis)
"Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24
It is 11:00 a.m. and we will get in our packed pick-up truck at 12:30 to drive all Leah's STUFF to Auburn University. She'll come home with us and then return on Monday 8/6/07 to begin RUSH and her freshman year.
I awakened at 8:30 a.m. after a deep night's sleep. Since then, I cooked a wonderful breakfast for Leah and Walker-cheese eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, biscuits, juice.
Of all the many breakfasts I've prepared for both kids, this was the last one before our life changes forever. Our little girl, our first born, goes to college today.
The good news is that all of this change is GOOD change. She is amazingly healthy. She is bright. She is extremely happy with her college choice. She is a child of God. All of that, (and much more!) is much, very much, to be thrilled about...and I am!
But of course, part of me weeps over the passage of time-my memory bank is FULL of so many times with Leah-her riding in the seat of the grocery cart, playing in the balls at McDonalds, riding in a limo in Chicago when she was photographed for cover of American Girl magazine in 1998, helping with and loving on her little brother, floor play with her Daddy, dressed in formal wear with a handsome young man ready to go to the prom, and SO MUCH MORE!
All of these times take me back to a time when she was smaller and really needed me. What I must remember is that the need is still there, but it is very different. Her greater need now is to find out who she will be come and she is doing just that today. We are blessed to have a strong love relationship between us.
So, as my friend, Donna, advised, I will embrace this season.
It is a season I wouldn't want to miss for anything in the world.
From my personal journal:
Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Today is the day..." Mama's favorite verse in the Bible. (Note: My Mama passed away on 10/24/06 just 4 months after a cancer diagnosis)
"Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24
It is 11:00 a.m. and we will get in our packed pick-up truck at 12:30 to drive all Leah's STUFF to Auburn University. She'll come home with us and then return on Monday 8/6/07 to begin RUSH and her freshman year.
I awakened at 8:30 a.m. after a deep night's sleep. Since then, I cooked a wonderful breakfast for Leah and Walker-cheese eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, biscuits, juice.
Of all the many breakfasts I've prepared for both kids, this was the last one before our life changes forever. Our little girl, our first born, goes to college today.
The good news is that all of this change is GOOD change. She is amazingly healthy. She is bright. She is extremely happy with her college choice. She is a child of God. All of that, (and much more!) is much, very much, to be thrilled about...and I am!
But of course, part of me weeps over the passage of time-my memory bank is FULL of so many times with Leah-her riding in the seat of the grocery cart, playing in the balls at McDonalds, riding in a limo in Chicago when she was photographed for cover of American Girl magazine in 1998, helping with and loving on her little brother, floor play with her Daddy, dressed in formal wear with a handsome young man ready to go to the prom, and SO MUCH MORE!
All of these times take me back to a time when she was smaller and really needed me. What I must remember is that the need is still there, but it is very different. Her greater need now is to find out who she will be come and she is doing just that today. We are blessed to have a strong love relationship between us.
So, as my friend, Donna, advised, I will embrace this season.
It is a season I wouldn't want to miss for anything in the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
