50 Something Woman

TIME FLIES

2010-11-04T08:20:00.004-04:00

Okay, here I go again! My last published entry on this blog was January 31, 2010 and I have covered a lot of ground since that day. I am certain that you have, too!
Now it is November 4, 2010...276 days later and I am reminded how quickly the moments, the days, the months fly during this season of my life.
Since my last post, our son made a decision to go to a college far from home and our daughter began her senior year at a university nearby.
That leaves my husband of 28 years and I in an infamous "empty nest". I have been enjoying some substitute teaching in addition to my ministry projects that I take care of as they arise.
What about you??? Has your 2010 flown by, as well?
I trust that as you ponder the details of your year that your heart is content. I continue to be convinced that the three things that matter most are...
FAITH*****FAMILY*****FRIENDS

BE BLESSED!

OUR DAUGHTER

2010-01-31T15:47:00.016-05:00

These past few days must be recorded in the memory bank! Our daughter and eleven of her college friends came for a visit with us in the North Georgia Mountains. This group of young people, along with three other 5o something couples, enjoyed a most incredible long stretch of hours. As I sit here in the quiet, my heart is overflowing with happiness and joy over how this time was spent and I am grateful to God for the blessing of life and living!
As I think about our daughter, I recall her saying how much we would like and enjoy these friends she was bringing home. She was right! These students were polite, gracious, helpful, and fun to have around.
As I sit here in this now serene setting, my mind wanders back to various seasons in our daughter's life... a laughing infant in my arms, a two year old running down River Street in Savannah feeding the pigeons, a six year old crying because she did not like the clothes she had to wear to school, an eleven year old tomboy, short hair, biking, climbing trees, loving life, a seventeen year old soccer player who is furious at her parents because we could not let her stay overnight at a party place that we considered undesirable, and presently a strong, beautiful, confident, friendly and smart young adult who brought home 11 friends for the weekend who appear to be on a good path to a truly bright future. Perhaps we are now experiencing some fruit of our labor as we have worked hard to be the kind of parents that I believe we are called to be.

"A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart."

Author Unknown

I love you, Leah, and I thank our God for the gift you are in my life, and you were right, your friends are great people to know!

GRATITUDE AND GRACE

2010-01-28T08:19:00.008-05:00

This is my nearly 90 year old Father's hand. With his hands he delivered more than 1,000 babies in his career as an ObGyn Physician. He loved giving complimentary care to all pastor's wives and they swarmed to his office from all over the Atlanta area. Holding his hand today gives me much joy and gratitude in my heart for the gift he has been in my life. He truly is a man of God, a man of Grace.

As a 50 something woman, I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and grace. I'd like to claim that I awaken each morning filled with gratitude, but that would not be honest! I can say that I would like to start each new day with both gratitude and grace, so perhaps this post will inspire you and I to do just that!

Ardath Rodale, an author, wrote in a 2005 article in PREVENTION magazine, that she "likes to think of gratitude and grace as her two hands working together. Grace is the power, beauty, and love of God that is always around us; gratitude gives us the eyes to see it."

As a 50 something woman, I have issues that have weighed on me through the years, as I am sure you do, as well. When I consider the challenges that I have personally faced in my own life, being thankful for them, seems to help me grow more these days.
Helen Keller said, "I thank God for my handicaps for through them I found myself, my work, and my God."

I have come to realize that this journey called life is never completely tranquil and smooth. All of us have experienced difficulties, mountains that are hard to climb. My nearly 90 year old Father told me yesterday as we were walking his mile, that we learn to live with the tragedies life deals us. So, as a 50 something woman, I would like to learn to look at my personal battles as opportunities to grow stronger in character and therefore, I want to learn to be more grateful for them.
Is that asking too much of myself? I think not. Perhaps when we learn to say "thanks", more often, we will open our hearts to daily miracles that happen all around us.
And Henry Beecher said,
"GOD'S GRACE IS THE OIL THAT FILLS THE LAMP OF LOVE."

May your day, your week, and your coming months be filled with both GRATITUDE and GRACE.

EMAIL FROM A FRIEND

2010-01-26T16:15:00.002-05:00

The following came to me in an email today from a girlfriend, Lynn, (pictured in blue on the far right)whom I have known since we were six years old.

Though it was a bit far, we could walk to each other's childhood homes.

Our birthdays are 1 day a part, so we have celebrated many times together.

Lynard (as in Skynard) is one of those friends that you can never get enough of, no matter what. We live a couple of hours from each other, in two different states and time zones, but we still manage to get together with our other six FFs (forever friends) several times a year. Usually, the main thing we do when we are together is laugh!

And you know...that laughter is good medicine! (see Proverbs 17:22)

Lynn and I both experienced the death of a parent, her Father and my Mother, within two days of each other, back in October 2006. We've shared plenty of memories and even more tears as we have remembered these loved ones. We've shared "quotes" from these parents who have passed. Two of my favorite come from each one: Lynn's Daddy used to say: "Honey, we have so much love , we can wallow in it!" and my Mama always said about staying up later than we probably should: "We can sleep when we're dead!"

Friends are Forever and I am glad this one was given to me back in September 1964!

And now the email message:

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong..
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

A pertinent message from a great friend!

AGING GRACEFULLY

2010-01-23T16:30:00.002-05:00

My three sisters and I had the opportunity to attend a very worthwhile seminar this past Thursday. There was no charge for this event and it was provided by Mrs. Nancy Craney, Executive Director, Wellstar Behavioral Health. The workshop was interactive and it was entitled: AGING GRACEFULLY.
Besides the fact that I was sitting at a table with my three big sisters that I love so much, this was such a beneficial use of our time and we are indebted to Mrs. Craney for all of the good information she shared with us that day.
As a fifty something woman, I want to share some of these tips with all the women that I know, regardless of their age or their season of life. We ALL need encouragement, edification, and continued education as we journey through this life.

I found it enlightening that in a recent study, aging women were polled regarding this question: "Is getting older better/worse than you expected?" 51% of those questioned stated that it was better than they expected.
Many times, it is our perceptions that may be more negative than the actual experience.

In our workshop, there was a great emphasis placed on optimism and its role in aging. While some may believe that optimists are reckless and not "watchful" about future events, multiple studies have proven that optimism is highly correlated with strong self-esteem and a boosted immune system, as well as, a resilience against illness. Through this discussion, we were reminded that optimism can be learned if one is more in the habit of pessimistic thinking. To train oneself in optimism, in a recent Wellstar newsletter, three suggestions were made by Mrs. Craney: (1) Practice self-awareness-question an immediate sense of doom and gloom-ask ourselves what might be positive in the situation; don't jump immediately to the negative.
(2) Take responsibility for what happens in life-do not be a victim of circumstance-take control where we can. (3) Study the positive effects of optimism on the body and begin to believe that it may have healthy effects on the immune system-that you may benefit to learn to look at the world more positively.

We cannot control aging, but there
are five health tips we CAN and SHOULD control:

---STAY ACTIVE---
---WATCH WEIGHT---
---KEEP REGULAR CHECK UPS---
---EAT LOW FAT---
---DON'T SMOKE---

In closing, Mrs. Craney reminded us that women are a really powerful bunch and that includes you and me! With aging, we gain wisdom. Let's teach our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and all the other young women who are coming along behind us,
to see the quality in the aging woman. We have a role to help the youth to relax about aging. As we grow, let's change what we can and let go of what we can't change. As we journey, let's agree to disagree and give others the right to be different.
Mrs. Craney ended this workshop on a lovely note when she shared the following video with us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBgXN_Jwr3Q

Our time together was enhanced by a lunch of scones and quiche in a local tea room where our niece, Amy, surprised us by joining her Mama and three aunts. And here, at lunch, we accomplished one more part of aging gracefully, we laughed, we loved and supported each other on this journey we call life.

And bonds like this, between women, don't come along every day, but we will all greatly benefit from strong family and friend connections as we live out our days.

PATIENCE

2010-01-14T16:00:00.001-05:00

As a 50 something woman, I am so aware of the many seasons of life that one can experience in more than five decade's time. Especially being a woman versus a man, I have enjoyed carrying, birthing, and raising two babies into adulthood...that season by itself has made this life journey incredible.

I am learning to have patience as I anticipate seeing what my next "job" will be. I am waiting and praying. In the meantime, I am content to put one foot in front of the other, looking for ways each day to obey the still small voice that I hear in my heart when I am quiet enough to heed it. As I do this, I find myself in unexpected places,
often unfamiliar territory, and I wonder is this in preparation for the next thing?

This picture was taken during a medical mission trip to Rio de Janeiro , Brazil. I am holding the pastor's son, Eduardo, and we were "reading" a Portuguese Bible. (Eduardo clearly knew more Portuguese than I did!) Beginning in 2003, for five consecutive years, I was in Rio on Mission as I worked with my niece, Amy, who was living and working in the mission field there. Those trips, each one, were life-changing in various ways. Those trips, also, have made my life journey extraordinary.

Yes, the seasons of our life come and go, and I ponder what is next. I believe that the answer is unfolding, even as I type! The cool thing is that as the seasons come and go, the things we may do to make a difference might be really big, like flying to Rio for a week of ministry, or really small, like offering an encouraging word to someone who needs it, but either way, your life journey will be sweeter and more rewarding for it!
This reminds me of some of my favorite Mother Teresa quotes:

"In this life, we cannot do great things,
we can only do small things with great love. "

"I always say I am a pencil in God's hands. He does the thinking and the writing. He does everything and sometimes it is really hard, because it is a broken penciland He has to sharpen it a little more. Be a little instrument in His hands so that He can use you anytime, anywhere. We have only to say 'YES' to God."

"I never will understand all the good a simple smile can accomplish."

What about you...what are your thoughts about the past events in the seasons of your life? And while we are pondering this, let us all remember and pray for the multitudes that are suffering right now in Haiti. Though perhaps not nearly as impoverished, my experiences in Rio brought me first-hand experience with an extremely poor population and my heart goes out to these victims in Haiti.
Oh, and one more thing, as you ponder the past decades of your life journey. Please consider a plan to join a team to go somewhere on a mission trip before your journey on earth has ceased.
YOU won't regret it!

CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN

2010-01-09T20:24:00.010-05:00

Sometimes in life, we have circumstances that can feel like a mountain before us. As a friend was sharing with me about a concern that seems insurmountable in her life today, I recalled this climb that my friend, Betsy and I took in October of 2008 in Arizona. We were there in beautiful Scottsdale with our husbands on business and both of us wanted to climb the challenging Camelback Mountain. Betsy and I had heard that these sheer redstone cliffs with their telltale hump drew thousands of hikers each year. We both felt like we were in pretty good shape for this adventure, which was important since we had also heard that this hike was not for beginners. This beautiful mountain range was known to be 2,704 feet above sea level!
This strenuous hike took us a few hours and was a tremendous work-out for sure! We had plenty of time to talk, which always makes the time go by when one is exercising. The scenery was breathtaking as we traveled higher and higher.
As a 50 something woman, I have learned that the mountains in life's journey are nearly always followed by a nice deep valley, a time to catch our breath after a difficult and challenging season.
As a 50 something woman, I have also learned that I do not want to miss the lessons that will likely be gained during a difficult climb as I overcome adversity. Just like the ageless song, "Climb Every Mountain" from The Sound of Music, I want to search high and low, following every by-way, every path I know. I want to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, 'til I find my dream!
And just like this climb up Camelback Mountain, I have encouraged my troubled friend to persevere, to stay on the path that I know God has marked out for her. And I will follow that advice myself, living life to the fullest, climb after climb!

REMEMBER THE DAY

2010-01-07T15:25:00.003-05:00

As a fifty-something woman, I clearly remember the day when we would be out running errands with Mom and she would stop in at the Gulf for a fill-up. Mr. Fitch, himself, the owner of Fitch's Gulf at the intersection of Scott Boulevard and North Decatur Road in Decatur, Georgia would come on out and greet us. While the petro poured into our tank, Mr. Fitch would always check Mama's oil, even if this service was not requested. Oh, and remember how our windshield would be spotless when we left after a fill-up?

Sure, the QT or Race Track on every corner sure is convenient, with the wide assortment of both drinks and snacks while your vehicle gets its fill, but still...remember the day!?!

And in the other room, as I sit here and type, our nearly 18 year old son is setting up and explaining our new IMAC. Wow, now that is one high-tech machine! When I was a teacher back in the 1980's, a few of my co-workers had a computer in his or her room, but I did not have one and certainly not every teacher's room had one! I had this friend, this co-teacher, named James, that was the "computer whiz" of our school. Everyone always sent for Mr. Reeves when there was a problem. Now, PC s operate with such ease, for the most part! Remember the day!?!

Do you still find yourself saying "roll down the car window", or "dial that phone number for me"?
I do! Remember the day!?!

One nice thing about the fantastic fifties is seeing all the changes that have taken place since our generation moved into adulthood. What do you enjoy remembering about days gone by?

LODESTAR

2010-01-05T08:36:00.002-05:00

As we move along into this new year, I am pondering the word "balance". As a fifty-something woman, I desire balance every day in every way. I was reading the January 5th entry in MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST By, Oswald Chambers this morning and was moved by a word in the final sentence: "There is only one lodestar in the life now, the Lord Jesus Christ." As I looked up this word in my dictionary, I was thrilled to read the first and second definition:
1. a star that is used as a point of reference; especially the North Star,
2. A GUIDING principle, interest, or ambition.
It is so easy to fall out of sync in this life, to lose our equilibrium along the way. However, it can bring us great comfort to remind ourselves that there is a "lodestar" in our midst when we make it a point to look for it, to seek it out. Life is like a see-saw, up and down, up and down, and yet, our God can help us to stay centered and steady as we go through our days. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 reminds us to simply: "Pray continuously, without ceasing."
I like to call this sending up constant 'arrow prayers' to my Father in heaven.
My earthly, godly, Dad, who was born on March 4, 1920 will celebrate nine decades in this new year. Daddy always says it like this: "It is a good idea to live your life with equanimity, the quality or characteristic of being calm and even-tempered, having composure."

How about you? Have you called upon your "lodestar" today?

THE SUN IS SETTING ON 2009

2009-12-29T13:18:00.002-05:00

More than 30 days have passed since my last blog post.
Yes, both Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone. Some of my favorite things during this past month include: receiving and sending photos & messages of hope, watching the old movie IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE with my 89 year old Daddy beside me, baking and sharing cookies, remembering with fondness those that have gone on ahead of us, and seeing the play
A CHRISTMAS CAROL with my family.
What are some of your memories from the past month?

Now the sun is setting on another year. 2010 is on the horizon.

I have never been one to attach myself to New Year's Resolutions. I learned long ago that I was never good about keeping them; at least I could not keep them past a few days or weeks, depending on how much change the declaration would require of me.
As a 50 something woman, I have instead determined that a healthy and balanced lifestyle all year round is the best arrangement for me.
With this approach, I do not have to worry about a dramatic change all at once!
The way that I attempt this is with the decision to not allow myself more than two consecutive "off-plan"days. An "off-plan" day can be defined differently for each person, but for me, it means not enough H2O, no fitness, an overindulgence in unhealthy foods and not enough fresh foods, and no time to sit still if only for a few moments to reflect on my personal relationship with God. In contrast, an "on plan" day for me is just the opposite: some fitness, substantial nutrition, water, and some quiet time to allow my body to catch up with my soul.

How about you?
What is your plan for YOU in the coming new year?

A SPOT OF SUNSHINE

2009-11-25T09:50:00.000-05:00

With "Thanksgiving Eve" upon us, I am sitting here counting my blessings, naming them one by one. As a fifty something woman, I am grateful for my reliable God, my family, my friends, just to mention three that are sure to be mentioned with immeasurable gratitude by you, as well.

As I ponder this further, I realize that sometimes the basis for gratefulness in my day is because a "spot of sunshine" has come my way. This may have come to me in a smile, a kind word, a note in the mail, a loving hug, an encouraging text or email, a laugh, a song, a written message or verse, a yummy taste of a favorite food, the chance to aid another, sweet memories, excellent health care, and the way my loved ones say my name, just to name a few.

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
~James M. Barrie~

What are the spots of sunshine that you are most comforted and encouraged by
during this THANKSGIVING SEASON?

LIFE IS A SYMPHONY

2009-11-24T08:01:00.008-05:00

Having grown up in a family of six children, four girls and two brothers, I have a clear understanding of how crazy life can be in a large family!

Yesterday, some girlfriends and I had the opportunity to honor one of our dear friends, who along with her husband, has eight children. Her husband wanted to treat her to a surprise party and we helped make this possible.
As we celebrated this milestone birthday, our party theme was:

LIFE IS A SYMPHONY.

Yes, LIFE IS A SYMPHONY WITH THIS FAMILY!
SOMETIMES CHAOTIC,
MORE OFTEN HARMONIOUS,
SOMETIMES OUT OF TUNE,
BUT ALWAYS FILLED WITH LOVE!

Thirty-five friends, along with the birthday girl's Mama, as well as her oldest daughter, shared with the group why this extraordinary mother of eight was particularly special to each of them. It was beautiful to witness the edification that took place as we feasted on a delicious lunch and went around the room telling humorous tales and sharing from our hearts.
Before dessert was served, we viewed a 15 minute memory video of a little girl who was born in 1959 with two older sisters, a wedding, eight new babies and many friend photos, as well.
The songs played along with the pictures were familiar to all:
IN MY LIFE~The Beatles
SIMPLE THINGS~Jim Brickman
DON'T STOP~Fleetwood Mac
FOREVER YOUNG~Rod Stewart
We all got a laugh out of the Lucille Ball quote near the end of the video:

"To stay young, live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age!"

And the icing on the "video cake" was a brief recorded message from the birthday girl's Mother reminding her of what a huge blessing it has been to have her as her daughter.
My unexpected and enormous blessing as these party plans fell into place, was getting to know this dear Mother even better than before. She reminds me so very much of my own Mama and it was a comfort and a joy spending time with her! PURE PLEASURE, in fact.

In lieu of wrapped presents, the ladies gave a monetary donation to our local homeless shelter.
This gift totaled $1,720.00!!!!!!!!

The lunch guests said their goodbyes with an iced cookie shaped
like one of the symphony instruments pictured above.

HAPPY 1/2 CENTURY TO
THIS VERY DEAR HEART FRIEND
OF 30+ YEARS!

A LONG AND WINDING ROAD

2009-11-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

As we travel along this long and winding road called LIFE, there are sure to be trecherous curves and
bumps in our path that slow us down
and moreover, bring us to a halting stop.
These can be catastrophic and tragic or hopefully, more likely,
a sadness in our hearts over
some circumstance that has transpired in our journey.
Either way, as a 50 something woman, I have discovered the importance to have folks, friends and family, who will walk beside me, shoulder-to-shoulder
and not try to fix the unfixable in my life.

These friends truly are the FLOWERS IN THE GARDEN OF LIFE!

These friends truly are a GIFT FROM GOD ABOVE.

Henri J.M. Nouwen (1932-1996) was born in Nijkerk, Holland, and came to the United States in 1964. A Roman Catholic Priest and psychologist, he has taught at several prestigious universities, including Yale, Harvard, and Notre Dame. He is the author of over twenty books, among them The Wounded Healer and With Open Hands, with a more recent one being The Road to Daybreak. I have often been inspired by Nouwen's writing and once again, I am moved to share his thoughts on "what really matters".

"When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness...makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters."

As I travel along on my long and winding road,
I desire to be this kind of friend to those God puts in my path
and I am so grateful to those whom
He has provided to minister to me in my times of need.

THESE HIKING BOOTS

2009-11-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

I am determined to stay active during this season of my life.
Vigorous exercise energizes me and helps me to sleep better, too.
When I lace up these hiking boots, I feel good because I know I am about to give my heart a gift!

But keeping our heart in tune is so much more than just lacing up sneakers or hiking boots. It is about staying in touch with those deep places in our heart and listening to God's still small voice.

Proverbs 4:23 reminds us:
"Above ALL ELSE, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

As a fifty-something woman, with our last child spreading his wings and preparing for high school graduation in just six short months, the question keeps coming up in my heart and mind...purposeful living, that is what I desire for the future. But what does that mean, exactly?

It will be different for each one of us, however, I am convinced that the way to find out is by seeking God first and the answers will come in due time.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well."

Matthew 6:33

So, let's get moving and give our heart a good work-out, physically as well as spiritually!

A BEAUTIFUL OCTOBER

2009-11-03T17:00:00.023-05:00

I have missed taking time out for this blog, but we have enjoyed a beautiful and fun October! We started the month celebrating our 27Th wedding anniversary on October 2ND, in the Great Smokey Mountains of Tennessee and then joining friends for the AU vs UT game at Neyland Stadium.
The foliage was well on its way at that time.

On October 8Th, our oldest entered into adulthood with her 21st birthday! FUN!

As the month continued, we took advantage of our local beauty, hiking Kennesaw Mountain regularly.

Mid-month, we visited Callaway Gardens and
I spent a few quiet minutes at the scenic small chapel there.

As the month neared the end, my three sisters, 89 year old Daddy and I visited our Mama's grave site in Rossville, GA, just on the TN/GA state line. On my sister, Laura Lea's suggestion, we chose
to sing praises at the site knowing that she was in heaven
and thanking God for the wonderful impact and legacy she has
had on each one of us, and the blessing our father continues to
be in our lives.
Gratefulness overflowed from each of us!

And then at the end of the month,
just for fun, we joined a few friends in
costume at the Marietta Square for a
Ghost Tour Trolley Ride.

THIS PAST MONTH INCLUDED THREE OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE:
FAITH,
FAMILY
AND FRIENDS.

LIVE LIKE YOU HAVE GAS IN THE CAR

2009-10-17T13:14:00.001-04:00

I have been a part of a small Bible Study in a dear friend's home for the past several years. In this intimate setting, we help each other stay connected to God in our day-to-day lives, a strong desire of each one of us as we study together on Tuesday mornings.
Back on 11~9~04, our friend, Donna exclaimed:
"Ladies, we must live
like we have gas in the car!"
"Yes!", added Sara, our group facilitator,
"Let's live the raised life."
To me, these phrases mean to live as though we know and understand the truth of the gospel. To me, this also means to live as though we are, in fact, filled up with the Holy Spirit as we live out our days. Even though nearly five years has passed since this remark was made in Sara's home, I still find myself thinking about it and desiring a life
that is lived as though I have gas in the car.
I have this phrase noted in my Bible near 1 Corinthians 6 and
read it every time I am there in that part of the Bible.
Back on May 23, 2009 I posted a blog entitled MAKE A NOTATION as I referenced how much I enjoyed coming across notations that my dear Mama had made when she was here with us.
As a 50 something woman, this notation in my Bible is another great example of how a few written words can remind us and empower us to live our best life.
Another year has come and gone since my dear Mama's passing and as in every year since her passing, I am looking for a creative way to celebrate her memory. This year it is a pictorial, laminated bookmark for my dad, my three sisters, my two brothers and myself. It has a total of 19 poses of Mama...so sweet to look at and recall her love, her laughter, her zest for life. In addition to the bookmark, this year, I am also copying a Eugenia Price devotion entitled
"To Be Peaceful".
You see, on 6-8-93, Mama made a notation on this
devotion as she read and underlined several parts of it.

Yes, Mama understood how to have PEACE while on this earth.

Yes, Mama lived like she had gas in her car!

DEEP ROOTS

2009-09-27T10:54:00.008-04:00

"STORMS
MAKE TREES
TAKE
DEEPER
ROOTS."
~Dolly Parton~

As I was walking in the woods a few weeks ago, I spotted this old tree, and more than that, I observed this elaborate root system.

I have not posted in a few weeks because I have been busy celebrating our daughter's 21st birthday and this actually goes along with the
subject of ROOTS.
Someone once said that we should give our children two lasting things:
ROOTS and WINGS.
I agree!
As a 50 something woman, I hope you and I will realize more than ever how important it is to help yourself, your children and your grandchildren develop
deep roots as we journey through life.

What does that mean? I believe it means to have a clear understanding about where our strength really comes from and then build a life around that truth.
(See Isaiah 40:29-31, Ephesians 6:10 and Philippians 4:13)
And as we continue on this path, our past experiences show more and more evidences of the storms that are possible during a lifetime. Deep roots can provide us with a peace that passes all understanding, regardless of our circumstances.
Even if the "tree trunk of life" breaks in two, strong roots can hold firm.

Eleanor Roosevelt
said it like this:
"A woman is like a tea bag.
You never know how strong she is
until she gets into hot water."

After spending two nights with our daughter last week, I know for sure she has developed deep roots. And at age 21, her wings are shaping up pretty
good
as
well.

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

2009-09-26T17:36:00.004-04:00

"...No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for me." John Donne (1572-1631) The meaning of this famous quote is that human beings do not thrive when isolated from others. Donne was a Christian but this concept is shared by other religions, as well.
Donne lived in Tudor and Stewart England, and at that time the tolling of the church bells, to mark various events, was an important feature of daily life.
Ernest Hemmingway helped to make this phrase commonplace in the language when he chose to use the quotation in his 1940-published book about the Spanish Civil War. Hemmingway refers back to 'for when the bell tolls' and to 'no man is an island' to demonstrate and examine his feelings of solidarity with the allied groups fighting the fascists. There was a strong feeling amongst many intellectuals around the world at the time that it was a moral duty to fight facism, which they feared may take root world-wide if not checked. This was given voice later in the well-known poem:
FIRST THEY CAME FOR JEWS attributed to Pastor Martin Niemoller (1892-1984):
First they came for Jews,
and I did not speak out,
because I was not a Jew.

They they came for Communists,
and I did not speak out,
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for trade unionists,
and I did not speak out,
because I was not a trade unionists.

Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

I was visiting a friend the other day. She is recovering from foot surgery and mostly home bound these days. While I was there, her step father was in the neighbor's yard next door helping out. A senior citizen couple resides next door and my friend's step dad was mowing their lawn. When I drove away, I could not help but notice the elderly gentleman slowly pushing his lawn mower, while my friend's stepdad cruised through the yard on his riding mower.
As a fifty-something woman, I find myself more observant, more cognizant of circumstances that are going on around me.
While I pray that our generation will not be faced with the hateful illustration of facism in the above poem, I hope that I will be found faithful to aid those in my path that have needs.
This picture of these two neighbors working together to accomplish a task, is a simple, but important reminder to look for opportunities in our sphere of influence where we can make a difference in the lives of others, day-by-day.

UMBRELLAS AND SUNFLOWERS

2009-09-20T19:31:00.003-04:00

Today would have been a perfect day to stay in and nap,
get the laundry done, read the paper, and then nap some more.

The rain came down steady all day long.

If all these umbrellas had stayed inside out of the rain,
an awful lot of folks would have missed out on a huge blessing.

Many came to a church near my home to worship and fellowship with other believers. This church is not where my family usually attends, but I went there to participate in the joyous occasion of two young ladies' baptism. These two special girls reside in the recovery center where I find myself volunteering weekly. When we left the church after the baptism followed by a cake and punch reception, I could not help but notice the piles of umbrellas at each exterior door.
I opened my own umbrella and posed it for this picture.

I have always liked sunflowers, but became especially fond of them after Mama's funeral service on October 26, 2006. My brothers and sisters and I decided that only bright primary colors would do for our Mother's cascade of flowers and the florist chose lots of sunflowers to complement the other flowers in the arrangement.

Sunflowers...yes, Mama had such a sunny personality!

And so after that day, I determined that sunflowers were my favorites, even more so than roses and daisies, some of my other best-loved flowers. So, that explains the sunflower umbrella that protected me from the rain today. Even when the rain pours and pours, it reminds me as Annie sang that "The sun'll come out tomorrow, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, come what may.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, you're only a day away!"

Actually, when we were in this church celebrating the baptism of these two girls, it was as though the sun was shining brighter than ever.
Perhaps that is because the SON was shining and his name was being glorified.
Often joyful circumstances can do that
no matter what the weather may be .

Here is the delicious cake that was enjoyed by the friends and family that came to witness the baptisms.
Yes, a sunny celebration can bring joy to a rainy day any day of the week, month, or year!

DON'T BE A LITTER BUG

2009-09-17T13:13:00.005-04:00

I hiked 3 miles on Kennesaw Mountain yesterday morning with one of my friends. This chance for exercise is so good for me, in more ways than one! The cardiac workout is a given and my heart thanks me every time! The opportunity to take in the view, the nature, God's creation, always fills me up to the brim! And lastly, the conversation, the sharing of two like minds is incredibly helpful and encouraging. I mean, seriously...look at this view of our hiking path that I captured with my camera as we hiked! Isn't it beautiful!?! I have been enjoying the idea of taking my camera along with me each day and shooting pictures of my
experiences

As I was walking towards my car after our hike I came upon a beer can that someone had tossed out onto the side of the road.

I immediately was taken into a world of living, loving and teaching young children in my midst, as I recalled an incident that happened many years ago as I was attempting to teach our two children the importance of not being a litter bug.
It was on our own street that we were driving where there are woods and no houses on the right hand side. As I drove, I caught a glimpse of our daughter throwing her chewed up gum out of her window. I stopped the car and said; "Now, Leah, you know that gum is not biodegradable, so get out of the car and go get your gum so you can dispose of it properly." Now, I realize how silly that sounds all these years later and we still laugh about it, because, of course she could not find her gum as it was lost in the woods!
The best part is that as a 50 something woman, I know for sure that neither of our children are litter bugs. I just know it! As I sit here and remember the many other things we attempted to instill in our children, I am thankful that each of them in their own ways are becoming well-rounded citizens, and for that, I am so grateful. I have often said that parenting is the hardest job in the world if you care about the outcome. If you do not care, and are ambivalent about the outcome, then, well... parenting is easy.
As you recall your children as small sponges, soaking up all the lessons of life you gave to them, what lessons are you certain they are living out today?

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED

2009-09-15T09:38:00.006-04:00

Here in Georgia, crape myrtles are in full bloom! Boasting shades of pinks, crimson, corals, white and lavender, these beauties are all around us. Beloved in the South, crape myrtle is a wonderful perennial deciduous shrub or small tree that provides landscape interest year around, requiring minimal attention and lasting throughout the fall giving away to a fabulous autumn show. The long-blooming flowers appear in mid-summer, with a bloom period that runs from July to late October, sometimes more than 120 days.
As a 50 something woman, I love to stop and notice life analogies in nature. I believe this unique plant is a great example of how we must bloom while we can. The crape myrtle buds represent earlier seasons of our lives when we were busy mothering and working and running around each day. These fabulous blooms symbolize our lives today, a chance to bloom while we can. We can heed an important lesson from this delicate flowering tree...blooming takes time...and patience, too!
Are you and I showing patience towards ourselves during this season of our lives? Let us be our own best cheerleader as we bloom wherever we are planted.
Yes, let's take courage along with us today and bloom! That was my Mama's response back in July 2006, just 4 months before her passing. When she was given the news of her cancer diagnosis, she bravely stated:
"Well, we're supposed to bloom where we are planted." And so she did...never looking back from that decision to live out her days courageously.

MISSING FROM THE PHOTO

2009-09-14T21:22:00.003-04:00

Even though our Mama, Polly Shivers Walker was missing from this photo taken earlier today, there was no doubt in any of our minds that she was with us in spirit. She would have loved this day! Mama always loved road trips, visits with other women and days filled with laughter and fellowship! The best news is that when I am physically with one or more of my three beautiful sisters, I truly feel like I am with my MOM...and that...is an incredible blessing!

SHARE YOUR STORY

2009-09-14T15:46:00.004-04:00

I feel on top of the world and so proud of my sister just older than me.

Last night, my three sisters came to our home and we had a slumber party of sorts as we went through memoirs gathered from our parents' marriage of nearly 60 years. Today, we arose early, leaving at 6:00 a.m., to get ahead of the Atlanta traffic and drove south for a special engagement.

This morning, I got to witness Laura Lea, along with my other two sisters and a sister-in-law, share her story, her journey of grief and hope. We were hosted by my gracious mother-in-law, Anne, and her monthly WMU circle at First Baptist Church, Thomaston, Georgia.

(SEE TWO PREVIOUS RELATED BLOGS on http://50somethingwoman.blogspot.com
DATED 4/20/09 AND 4/23/09 FOR DETAILS OF LAURA'S STORY)

Every beating heart has a story and Laura Lea told hers today to 40 or more women. Laura took great courage in the way that she shared how God is working in and through her in a very difficult and personal journey. We can all learn and benefit from hearing about struggles and victories that we experience in our day-to-day lives.
We as women can be a great encouragement to one another when we face our challenges shoulder-to-shoulder, strengthening each other as we go along.
While my sisters and I do not consider ourselves particularly talented singers, after Laura shared, we sang a quartet of an old hymn: MY HOPE IS BUILT .
Following our time with the women, my father-in-law, Don, treated us to a wonderful country cookin' lunch at The Peachtree Cafe in Thomaston. During lunch, we raised our glasses of sweet tea to the three celebrating September birthdays and then we took turns edifying Anne by sharing memories of her touch on our lives as we considered her milestone birthday that is coming in December 2009.
All in all, today was a perfect example of how we can support and love the women in our lives. WE only get one chance, only one time around.
Let's be a vehicle for hope...
... by sharing, encouraging and supporting the women in our lives.

BUILD A BRIDGE

2009-09-06T10:11:00.003-04:00

I was walking in the woods yesterday for exercise and I had some piano music on my IPOD...drumming in my ear was the tune of BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER.
As I listened to this familiar tune, power walking along, the lyrics came pouring back into my mind:

"When you're weary, feeling small. When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all..
I'm on your side when things get rough. And friends just can't be found, like a bridge over troubled water...."

When a bridge is being constructed, the landscape has to be level on both sides...in people-terms, there has to be what I call "common ground" from two people before a bridge can be built between two individuals.

As a fifty-something woman, I often consider who in my sphere of influence could I build a bridge to that would possible help to lighten a load, make a difference in that person's life, while enhancing my own days. Immediately, my small family unit comes to mind, I want to be here for my husband, and I am, in so many ways! I want to be here for our senior in high school, and I am, taking a college road trip with him next week. I want to be here for our junior in college, and I am, traveling to her home to be with her for her 21st birthday early next month.
Aside from our immediate families, how can a 50-something woman build other bridges?
I believe a bridge can be constructed with our adult siblings, our parents, our in-laws, our friends. Beyond that, I see myself building bridges with the women I meet in the Recovery Center I am currently volunteering in each week. I try to encourage them and inspire them to move forward in their lives, building their own bridges with those they hold close to their hearts.

And so the lyrics continue...Simon and Garfunkle sing:

"YOUR time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way, see how they shine. If you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind, like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind."

Life is short and I often remember, this is no dress rehearsal.

Who would you like to build a bridge to today?

UNSPOKEN

2009-08-24T10:13:00.006-04:00

As a 50 something woman with a "baby" who is a senior in high school and clearly ready to spread his wings, I found myself wandering around some yesterday...what to do next...

This is a very odd feeling for someone who has been "on the go" and raising babies for the last 21 years. And to think, in approximately one hundred and eighty days, our last one will graduate high school. Graduate...now that is a funny word in and of itself. Earlier today, I was at the grocery store and the bottled water had been moved to the baby aisle, which explains why I found myself on this aisle full of diapers, pull-ups, jar baby food and an item called "graduates for preschoolers". This caught my interest because when I hear the word graduate, all I allow myself to envision is our son in a blue cap and gown. Now the baby industry is trying to make us Moms think about this even sooner, with a snack for two year olds!
Just after I discovered this new product for preschool-aged children, I nearly ran into another mom that lives a few streets over from me. "How are you doing?", I exclaimed, "I mean, how are you really doing?". For as I looked into her face, I easily recalled that this friend had a daughter our daughter's age and a son, one year older than ours, which meant that, just three months ago, she had witnessed her last child's graduation. She was precious to take a few minutes out to share details about her son's move to a local college and all the changes that she had experienced in this short window of time. She encouraged me as my eyes tried to well up with tears, sharing my concerns, sharing my thoughts. After speaking with this friend for a few short minutes, my steps were lighter.
On the way home from the grocery store, I heard a Jaci Valesquez song on the radio and one of the lines keeps coming back to my mind: "Don't leave your heart unspoken." To me, this means that when our hearts are heavy, we should share with God and other trustworthy friends all that is going on there in our hearts.

Let's not leave our hearts unspoken.

STEEL MAGNOLIAS

2009-08-17T08:10:00.003-04:00

The play, Steel Magnolias is based on a true story and is one that all women should see! The movie is wonderful, too, starring some memorable actresses such as, Dolly Parton, Sally Fields, Julia Roberts and other favorites.

My sisters, nieces, and some friends, including two ladies from our nearby recovery center, all joined me last Sunday for the 3:00 p.m. matinee showing at our local Strand Theatre.

Revolving around Truvy's Beauty Parlor in a small parish in modern-day (1987) Louisiana, this is the story of a close-knit circle of friends whose lives come together there. Through the views of these different women we see love, apathy, pain, and loss. Dreams built and burnt, the power of hope, the love between a mother and her child and the bond that can be so unbreakable between true friends.

Shelby, the young lady in the story had a line that I want to remember forever:

"I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

The play was only one part of this very special day. All proceeds from each ticket went directly to our local homeless shelter MUST Ministries, which means these six local actresses gave 100% of their time and talents for this cause. What a remarkable example of service for all of us!

In addition to the MUST donation, as I stated above, I was accompanied by my three sisters, three nieces, a nephew's mother-in-law, and two of my lady friends who are in the process of healing and on a good path right now...Among the ten of us, there was much laughter, many tears. Just being together, in this group of strong women, watching this story unfold, we experienced way more than thirty minutes of wonderful and for that I am so grateful!

LIFE IS SHORT: GET RID OF THE MASK

2009-08-13T10:38:00.003-04:00

"WE are always getting ready to live but never living." Ralph Waldo Emerson

My last post triggered a phone call from one of my buddies checking in on me to see how I was doing.
That was a great comfort to just let it all spill out and squarely tell her know how I really felt!

As a 50 something woman, I am realizing more than ever how imperative it is to unmistakably be my true self, disposing of the mask at every turn. Transparency is something that is common with me in my interactions with others, and I like it that way!
The only warning I would share that was given to me by a close friend years ago is to be cautious and prayerful about WHOM you decide to disclose WHAT to. Other than that, just be! It is a very freeing concept to take each day as it comes and take in the moments, relishing the positive, and allowing the negative to roll off my shoulders.

Another very cool thing about living a life that is real and transparent is that it gives those in your sphere of influence "permission" to do the same thing.
My husband's response to my most recent post was very simply:
"I have days that I feel that exact same way...blase!"

And so it goes...
...another favorite quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson states the truth of this much better than I ever could!

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
(R.W.E. May 25, 1803~April 27, 1882)

ALONE?

2009-08-11T11:31:00.004-04:00

Have you ever woken up and found yourself feeling a bit discouraged and not quite sure why? That is how I felt yesterday and even after a good fitness workout, the blase feeling continued...What was it? I could not quite put my finger on it...
I casually mentioned it to my husband and that helped ease it a little.

Still, I awakened this morning with a similar weightyness on my shoulders...What was it?

Was it that our last-born was starting his senior year of high school, the truth that another summer (the season of fun and flexibility) had come and gone, the thought that so many of my close friends are busy with their full or part-time jobs, missing my Mama and others that have gone on ahead of me, or could it even be that the personal stories of the ladies I have been ministering to at a nearby Recovery Center were bringing me down??? Or perhaps it was a combination of all of the above.

Regardless of the reason, this blog is a reminder to myself and to all who will read it that we do not have to walk this road alone, nor were we meant to!

To move forward, out of my dismal view of things, I did three things and together, they helped me so much...

(1) I journaled, read and meditated on the Bible, specifically, Proverbs 11 for today, August 11th. V. 25, 30 were particularly meaningful to me. I also read devotions from Oswald Chamber's MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST and THE SEEKING HEART By, Fenelon (p. 124-125 REST IN GOD and p. 177 ONE THING NEEDED)

(2) I prayed and sought God, the Most High.
and last, but certainly, not least,

(3) I called a precious friend that I have known for 33 years since my freshman year in college. Susan and I are like-minded in that we both want to follow after God, and we both cherish our family, friends and FAITH! Talking to Susan who lives four hours away made all the difference in my day, in my attitude and in my future viewpoint. That is what close girlfriends do...they change our approach to life.
Thanks, Susan, for being there for me today!

We are not meant to walk this road alone...and when we try to walk alone, it can be very disheartening!

LET IT GO!

2009-08-07T15:21:00.007-04:00

For fitness today, I walked five miles in the woods with two of our four legged friend, Gracie and Mocah. As I walked, I listened to Simon and Garfunkel, a classical selection including some songs you will find very familiar: Bridge over Troubled Water, Sounds of Silence, and Scarborough Fair. As I walked, I thought and prayed, prayed and thought about life as we know it. There is so much out there that we can get "hung up" on if we allow ourselves to.
This blog is about LETTING IT GO!
"Letting what go?" you might ask. Letting go of bitterness, resentment, assumptions (many which may very well be false).
As a 50 something woman, I have many relationships that are important to me. However, I have learned, as perhaps you have, too, that with wonderful, loving relationships, often can come pain and misunderstandings. Let's just let it go and get on with our day...with our life, living well, laughing often and loving much!
WE only get one chance at this, one time around!
"Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness, and knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream." ~Kahil Gibran, THE PROPHET

CARAMELIZED VIDALIA ONIONS

2009-08-04T22:33:00.003-04:00

As I was caramelizing onions for dinner tonight, I caught myself gazing at the framed photo adjacent to my stovetop. The onion recipe was scratched out onto some note paper at my father's medical check-up yesterday:

2 Tbs butter melted in a pan, adding 2 thinly sliced onions, 1/2 tsp light brown sugar and 1/ tsp salt
Cook covered 20 minutes 'til tender-stir occasionally. Uncover, cook and stir over medium heat for 3-5 minutes or until onions are golden.

The picture was taken on my daughter's twelfth birthday in October 2000. In this photo, she is backed up to my Mom, Polly, and they both have the biggest smiles on their faces. Whenever we attended family reunions on my mother's side, our daughter would be called "Little Polly", because everyone thought she favored my mother so much. This special photo was taken long before my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and way before our little girl even thought seriously about attending college two hours from our home.
Now, Mama is in heaven and our daughter is an upperclassman at Auburn.

I love that this framed photograph is right on the counter where I cook our meals. It gives me strength, brings a smile to my face and inspires me to live and love while on this earth.

What special photos or momentos do you see in your home on a regular basis? Do they bring you warmth and strength as you recall sweet memories? If not, why not frame up something inspiring today and place it in a spot you pass by daily.
And while the vidalia onions are in season, try out this yummy recipe that will complement any meat as a side dish . You will be glad you did!

THIS CAN BE TRICKY

2009-08-03T07:35:00.003-04:00

When we visited Kiawah Island, South Carolina recently, we had a lovely villa a few blocks away from the coast. On a bike, we could reach the surf in less than ten minutes.

After our workouts in the nearby gym, we would hop on our rental bikes, with a back pack and a beach chair balanced on the handlebar as we rode. As we ventured closer to the beach, we would encounter several narrow boardwalks, most more suitable for one-way traffic, not two.

One morning, as I made my way, steadily to the sand, I was having a little trouble guiding my bike across a limited way. A woman, who looked to be a 50 something woman like me was walking towards me on the boardwalk. She observed my difficulty and smiled, stating three simple words: "This can be tricky."

Before I met this "friend" along the way, I was struggling, believing that surely others did not have this much difficulty and why was I not strong enough to make this journey happen more smoothly? Everything changed in my approach, my attitude, after hearing her brief, but encouraging message to me.

As we journey through our days, let's be on the lookout for women like ourselves who might be having a little trouble, who might need a helping word or deed. Let us travel this journey together, not alone.

Like this nameless woman on a boardwalk in South Carolina, you, too, could make a change in someone's day.

AUGUST FIRST, TWO THOUSAND AND NINE

2009-07-30T12:51:00.006-04:00

"This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Yes, today is a day for rejoicing for sure as our beautiful niece, Katie will don her wedding gown and be wed to the love her life, Adam at 12 noon. Yes, a day for celebrating as our friends, The Carter Family travel to VSU to witness their daughter, Kat walk across the stage in her cap and gown.

Yes, today is August 1, 2009 and as promised, I am resuming my 50 something woman blog here and now. The longer I live, (and that would be a total of 18,615 days as of this day) the more I have realized what a gift LIFE is.

To quote Lily, a follower of this blog, in a comment on 6/6/09:

"I think the greatest thing about this age is the realization of time. Some of us, if we're lucky, finally have the time to do the things we put off because of our children and other responsibilities. Mostly, I appreciate the limited aspect in a way I never did before crossing that half-century mark.

IT MAKES ONE MAKE TIME."

Thanks, Lily, and I agree!

So, as we continue on this life adventure, to restate my purpose behind this blog:

LET US GROW AS WOMEN AS WE ENCOURAGE OUR DAUGHTERS, OUR NIECES, AND ALL OF OUR YOUNG LADY FRIENDS COMING ALONG BEHIND US TO DO THE SAME.

LET THE PILGRIMAGE CONTINUE...

TAKING A BREAK

2009-07-01T10:08:00.006-04:00

When I wake up in the morning as a 50 something woman, I do not always know what my next blog will be about.
The main reason for this, is like you, and every other human being on this earth, I never know what a new day might bring.

Kahil Gibran, in one of my favorite books; The Prophet (copyright 1923), said:
" Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."

I have taken such pleasure in writing this blog! Thanks to each one of you, my readers, my friends. Gibran's quote brings to mind to me personally that it is time to let my mind rest as I look to the future of this writing. My desire is that this will be purposeful, so I will be considering how to bring that about.
On April 8, 2009 life brought to me this blog and I have so enjoyed exploring this season in our lives.

As I shared with my sister, Laura Lea, weeks ago, I never press myself to "think of" a subject to post. I consciously live out my day and then go to my laptop when I feel like it.

Today, I have decided to take a break from my 50 something woman blog. I plan to resume this blog on August 1, 2009.

I hope you will mark your calendar to rejoin me at that time as we continue on this journey of taking care of ourselves and growing as women, as we encourage our daughters, nieces, and all of our young lady friends coming along behind us to do the same!

In the meantime, enjoy your days, your moments, your life! And remember:

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time." ~John Lubbock~

YESTERDAY; BUT A DREAM

2009-06-30T07:10:00.008-04:00

It's a new day...the sunrise is spectacular as I type on our back porch. I am chilly, yes, chilly, sitting here in my workout clothes because the current temperature is only 62 degrees...It is difficult to believe that in just a couple of short hours, we will be back into the nineties, the dog days of summer.

Did you see how blue the sky was yesterday? It truly was that North Carolina/Colorado hue!

Did you get outside in nature yesterday? My early morning mountain hike with my girlfriend of more than 20 years gave us a great chance to look in on each other's lives and work out at the same time. Awesome!

Did you go to your place of employment with new energy after the weekend and carry a positive attitude, which we all by now know can be very contagious?

Did you help someone in need yesterday? I had the opportunity to meet Melanie, a homeless woman in our community and help her out a little bit. She is addicted to meth and we talked a lot about her disease and how it had driven her down in her 30 years of life. I am hoping that the little bit of time I spent with her will go a long way to encourage her on this new day.

Did you connect with any loved ones yesterday? That includes those that live in our homes and those that do not. I had the blessing of a long phone call with my sister, Laura Lea, an afternoon visit with my husband, and a one mile walk around the track with our Daddy, age 89, his 3rd time for the day!

Did you stop for a moment and utter the words: "Thank You", to the One who made us? As a 50 something woman, that has become my most frequent, through-out my day, prayer.

Now that I am in my fifties, the list of loved ones that never made it to their 50th birthday has grown longer. There is my high school friend, Kathleen, a co-worker and friend, Debbie L., a best friend, Jil, our son's 1st grade Sunday School Teacher, Julie R., our Pediatrician, age 38, at the time of his passing, Dr. E. Umpierre, a dear friend's 40 year old husband, Doug, our nephew, age 25, Brad, just to name a few. As I consider each one, with fondness, it causes me to "take pause", remembering that every day matters.

Just this past week, a local mother, Jeanette Prather, age 50 and her son, Matthew, age 15 perished in a family car accident just south of Atlanta.
Mrs. Prather's husband and 18 year old son, Stephen survived the crash. While we do not know this family personally, we know that they live just a short distance from our home and we mourn along with them. As I read about Mrs. Prather in the paper, it was easy to see that she understood the importance of making her days count. "Jeanette was a loving wife and mother and a loyal friend. She was part of the Outreach Ministry in her church. Jeanette had recently earned her Master's Degree in Speech Pathology so that she could help children with speech difficulties." And in reading about 15 year old, Matthew in the news, it became clear that his parents had already passed the baton of purposeful living onto their sons: "Matthew had a real heart for missions in Africa. In fact, he was scheduled to leave on July 4th for a one month trip to serve the children there."

There is a favorite quote of mine that comes from The Sanskrit, a historical Indo-Aryan Language:

"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is only a vision. But today, well-lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day, for it is life, the very life of life."

NO EXPIRATION DATE

2009-06-28T21:22:00.008-04:00

Last night, my husband and I enjoyed homemade apple cobbler with spray whipped cream. Unfortunately we were out of vanilla ice cream which eliminated the chance for ala mode! This after dinner delicacy was actually so good that I decided to surprise our son with the same treat. He was holed up in his room, so I went ahead and fixed this dessert without even asking him if he wanted it.
When I had it all ready, with whipped cream, sprinkled cinnamon and sugar, and 3 musketeers chocolate syrup, I called him down.

He was very pleased when he first arrived in the kitchen...then upon his initial observation, he asked about the date on the syrup.
I responded with the truth: "I have no idea what the date on that syrup is."
Ok, now, don't be shocked, but he decided to check the date and it was May of 2005...I am not kidding!!! ( I wish I was!) Needless to say, it went straight in the trash and he fixed himself a new dessert!
WE had some good laughs about dates on products that are in our ten year old home and how we might want to check them out a little more often and a little more carefully in the future...
Soon, our son was checking the dates on some of our other things...the milk had a good date, the yogurt was okay, too.

Later, just before retiring for the night, our son and I started talking about other "expirations", like letting too much time go by before we open the Word.
If we are not careful, we wait too long to go to the Word for the answers to the big questions that we have in our lives. Just because we do not take the time to look in that direction, does not mean the answers are not there. If we are not careful, our days go by and we do not reap the benefits and the strength that it is in the Word for each of us to grab a hold of. As 50 something women, we realize more than ever that our lives on this earth have an "expiration date". Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 reminds us: "There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season. There is a time to be born and a time to die."

So, maybe you want to go check the dates of some of the products you have in your refrigerator, and perhaps you want to take stock in the date of the last time you delved into the Word as well.

Do something today that you have been putting off because we are not promised tomorrow. Only God knows the number of our days and He's not telling us that number.

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of the Lord stands forever."
1 Peter 1:24-25

The Good News is that once we are His, considering God and His Word, there is NO EXPIRATION DATE!

SENIOR PICTURE DAY

2009-06-26T18:38:00.007-04:00

Our 3rd President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson passed away on July 4, 1826 at the age of 83. He recognized the importance of time spent with loved ones. "The happiest moments of my life have been those which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family."

Today is senior picture day for our son, our last born.

Through the years, occasionally I would jot down memories in a small journal for each of our children. On Tuesday, February 27, 1996, 7:30 a.m. the entry reads:

"Happy Birthday, Walker! YOU are four years old today. The weather is beautiful and spring-like. It is early in the morning and it is already 61 degrees.
You will take blue cupcakes with chocolate icing and sprinkles to preschool today. Then, this afternoon, we will take you and five of your buddies to Discovery Zone. You are very excited. More to come later! I'm so glad you were born into our family four years ago on this day. Love, Mommy"

Ironically, we passed right by his preschool on our way to his photo shoot! As I watched our son posing for his senior pictures, first with a tux on and then in casual attire with his one year old Labrador Retriever, Gracie, so many remembrances flooded in and out of my mind! Just to mention a few of these...

...His actual day of birth early in the morning in 1992 when the doctor could not get him to respond at first and the pensive expression on my husband's face as he watched. Later, we heard that the cord was partially wrapped around his neck.

The smile that broke out on all of our faces every time he would call his big sis "La La", instead of her name, Leah.

How proud he was of himself on that first day of Kindergarten in 1997 in his yellow shirt, blue plaid shorts, and sneakers.

The summer before 4th grade and his disappointment over leaving two week camp, just two days after he had arrived there. We had to go pick him up after he broke his collar bone during a wrestling skills class.

The moments that he first learned to ride a two-wheeler, delighted in a sand castle, and flew across the surf on a skimboard...just to name a few...

For the 50 something woman, memories can surface in a blink of an eye, many of which can bring such JOY and some that result in sorrow. Whichever it is, gladness or heartache, memories of those we hold dear are a gift because our remembrances are evidence that we have lived and loved.

Oscar Wilde was a writer who lived from 1854-1900. In his play, The Importance of Being Earnest, he came up with this line about memories:

"Memory...is the diary that we all carry about us." I agree.

And aren't we grateful for images that are captured on film. These photographs bring a sense of nostalgia, inspiring memories to come flooding back at a moment's notice.

YOU NEVER KNOW

2009-06-25T22:22:00.005-04:00

I have learned that one never knows what will happen when the college experience begins anew in a life...What friends will be made, what will be my area of study, will I meet the love of my life????

When I graduated from high school in Atlanta, GA, in May 1976, I chose Tennessee Tech University because I heard it was a good school and I loved the rolling hills of Tennessee. You see, most of my family, including my Dad, attended a small school in East Tennessee called Carson Newman College. Being the 5th of six children, I took many trips there to deposit my older sibs to their new residence halls in TN. I am sure I spent hours in the back seat of a wood-paneled station wagon, gazing from the car window, at the rolling hills. Thus, the start of my love affair with the bucolic rolling hills of Tennessee, and later, a decision to attend a school there in 1976.

I attended TTU for two years before transferring to University of Georgia where I did end up meeting the love of my life on a blind date...but that is another story for another day!

The experience of sorority rush, was one I was told, I did not want to miss. Even if I did not choose to pledge a particular sorority, I would have the opportunity to meet a lot of different girls as I went through the week of rush.
So, I found myself in the midst of rush in no time flat...The sisters of Alpha Delta Pi chose me and I felt most comfortable with them, so it was a fit for both of us.
This is where I met eight friends that know me through and through, & love me still!
Aside from the fact that we all went to college together, our solid tradition started after Kay's wedding in December 1978. The rest of us (not Kay because she was on her honeymoon!!!) gathered at Kelly's childhood home, in Tullahoma, TN, for a sleepover and gift exchange. We had such a grand time, we said..."We must do this again!" and we did...for the next 30 + years, never missing a year...INCREDIBLE, countless memories along the way!!!
We have alternated meeting in different homes through the years. Delo consistently brings the candy cane cookies, Kelly, the sticky buns, Deb, the homemade pound cake, Kay, the chex mix with M & Ms, Jo Ann, the chicken salad and pimento cheese, Becky, the paper goods and sliced bread, 'cause she doesn't love to cook, and Leslie, the chips, dips and other delightful snacks for the same reason! I always bring the rich creme de menthe brownies and Susan brings the white chocolate peppermint candy and the cucumber spread. What a spread and a time of fellowship we have shared through the years !

A few years ago, we, the nine of us, took a trip to New York City to commemorate our 30th reunion!

All together, we have given birth to 16 incredible children.

Our group encompasses the careers of business, finance, nursing and education.

Most importantly, we all share a common faith and we share prayer concerns from year to year...We offer prayer support to one another through each year...And yes, thanks to Becky and Debby, the only actual sisters in our group, we have matching flannel gowns, videos and photo scrapbooks to share with our families!

In reading this, perhaps you might be inclined to share this with some young woman that is in your life...help her to see that she, too, can have a similar invaluable friend experience while she is in college.

You never know...

MY FRIEND, KELLY

2009-06-25T08:32:00.005-04:00

I first met KELLY in the fall of 1976. Even though we are nearly the same age, she had somehow managed to be one year ahead of me in school, the smart girl that she is! I was beginning my freshman year in college. I was going through sorority rush without a clue about what I was doing. You see, my family had no sisterhood "legacies" to speak of. It was here at this medium-sized university, TTU, in Cookeville, Tennessee that I first met Kelly. Thankfully, Kelly and the rest of her ADPi sisters decided that I was a good fit for their group, and so began a story of friendship, of nine friends, in total, that has lasted a lifetime.

My dear friend, Kelly and I power-walked 6 miles in the North Georgia woods last Saturday.
We both are now 50 something woman who love to stay fit and we never lack for subjects to cover when we are together. We have celebrated marriages together, as we were in each other's weddings in 1982. Our wedding took place on Kelly's 24th birthday! We have attended baby showers for one another. We have watched our children grow into young men and women. We surprised each other in 2008 as we reached our 5oth birthdays! We have appreciated seeing our husbands develop a lifelong friendship. Yes, Kelly and I have reveled in a rich friendship, for sure.
We both love to cook and entertain, so we have doled out countless recipes via phone, letters, and email. We have taken pleasure in a friendship and camaraderie with seven other women for more than 30 years, a group you will read more about tomorrow!
One thing I have respected so much in my friend, Kelly is the way she has worked diligently in her nursing career for many years. Indeed, two of my FFs, Forever Friends from high school, Mary and Cindy have done the same in this identical profession. I have great respect for all that I know that work in this field, because it truly takes a unique individual to take care of and nurture the ill in our world. Kelly has worked in a variety of jobs, from a maternity nurse to a high school school nurse who counsels young pregnant teens. When the nine of us from TTU, gather for our annual reunion, Kelly always has the best stories from her experiences in caring for others.
As we walked on Saturday, Kelly told me about a friend of hers who is a 50 something woman. This friend declared to Kelly that she does not quite know what to do with herself, as her children have left and she is no longer taking care of them. This 50 something woman has not worked outside of the home for more than 20 years. And now, she is unsure of which direction to go in her life.
A multitude of my 50 something friends, like Kelly, still work countless hours outside of their homes. Many, like Kelly, are passionate about making a difference in their workplace. My FF, Jan, is another great example as she is contributing to her household by working with young disabled children. Wherever a 50 something woman might find herself, be it, full or part-time employment, volunteerism, caring for senior adults or grandchildren, enjoying a favorite sport, owning a business for the very first time, I trust that each of us will look after ourselves for a change...Like Kelly and me, put yourself on the list for that power-walk with a cherished friend...and let someone else make the pancakes just as we did this past Saturday morning.

PURPOSE

2009-06-24T15:34:00.004-04:00

The news is bad today..."Computer malfunction suspected in D.C. crash", Protest, crackdown in Iran", a local family's vacation ends in tragedy just hours from home when their son dies and mom is critically wounded in a one-car accident, and on a more personal note, today marks one year since our nephew, Brad's tragic fall. Yes, the news is tough to hear especially when you look around and see the continued signs of a failing economy everywhere you look.

And yet, as a 50 something woman, I feel this strong sense to remain hopeful for the future of one and all, this urgency for purpose in my days, reminding myself and others that our God is in the details of our days. It is up to us to trust Him and remain hopeful, even amidst uncertain times.

"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent." ~Jean Kerr~

"Deep within you...nothing is hopeless. You are a child of God, and hope has been planted in you by God." ~Norman Vincent Peale~

"Nothing can be done without hope or confidence." ~Helen Keller~

Even as long ago as 600-400 B.C., when the book of Job was thought to be scribed, Job, himself lamented to God in Job 14:1-5 because life as Job knew it had become so bad, quite hopeless, one might say.

I want to "...apply my heart to instruction and my ears to words of knowledge."
Proverbs 23:12

I desire to "Listen, and be wise and keep my heart on the right path."
Proverbs 23:19

I long to "...apply my heart to all that I have observed and learn lessons from all I have seen." Proverbs 25:32

Yes...PURPOSE as I live out my days has become a real PRIORITY...and remaining HOPEFUL in trying times is a real PRIORITY, as well.

Therefore, "In all our ways, let us acknowledge Him, and He WILL direct our paths."
Proverbs 3:6

MY 65TH BLOG

2009-06-22T19:37:00.005-04:00

To mark my 65th blog, I wanted to take out some time to thank my readers, my followers, including those who have left comments in the past weeks since I began this 50 Something Woman blog on April 8, 2009. You have given me much encouragement as I have traveled this road for the very first time.
Some of your comments that come to my mind bear repeating:

"We must take full advantage of this stage in your life. Circumstances can change in a heartbeat! Don't look back and say, 'I wish I had...'"

"Moving forward is a state of mind!"

"God gives different gifts and passions to each of us. It is up to us to use them."

"You are living with your heart wide open!"

As a 50 something woman, I realize more and more with each passing day that our life truly is a gift to be well-cared for. And that is why I begin this post by thanking the women in my life and I will end it by saying to these same women:

LET'S DO THE BEST WE CAN TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER!

The subsequent information comes to us from the
Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. (www.komen.org)

Taking the following steps toward a healthier lifestyle can do wonders to lift the spirit, keep weight in check and most importantly, reduce your risk of breast cancer:

(1) MOVE AND GROOVE: If there is one thing breast cancer hates, it's an energetic, active lifestyle. The key to getting fit is doing something you love and doing it long enough to the all-important health benefits. Walking is something we all do every day anyway, so why not make it count? A mere 30 minute stroll at a brisk clip is a totally drama-free way to get fit. Bonus? Exercise lowers estrogen levels, fights obesity, lowers insulin levels and boosts the immune system.

(2) LIVE TO EAT WELL: A diet rich in fruits, veggies, and whole grains is the ideal way to nourish your body.

(3) STEADY ON: Maintaining your ideal weight isn't just for looking good in your skinny jeans. Keeping the number on the scale in the healthy range can mean a decreased risk of breast cancer after menopause.

(4) KEEP THE (INNER) PEACE: Diet and exercise alone aren't enough to keep your body and mind in top form. Take special care of your emotional health by maintaining close relationships with family and friends as well as engaging in the activities you cherish. Reading a book on a Sunday afternoon or catching a movie with a friend are effortless ways to carve out some stress-free "me" time.

(5) GET IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT: Don't make the mistake of riding shotgun when it comes to fighting breast cancer. Take control of your well-being by making sound diet and exercise choices, annual check-ups and recommended screenings.

While I have not had cancer myself, now that I am a 50 something woman, I have known many women that have gone through a personal cancer journey. Sadly, some of these precious women, including my own mother have not survived this dreadful disease. However, in every case that I am aware of, faith, friends, family, and loads of prayers have been a part of each one's difficult path. Sometimes the healing takes place this side of heaven and other times, it is a heavenly healing. In every case, COURAGE was evident and awe-inspiring.
So as we go through our days,
LET US DO OUR BEST TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER! AND LET US PASS THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE OF LOVING CARE ONTO OUR DAUGHTERS, OUR NIECES, AND THE OTHER YOUNG WOMEN IN OUR SPHERE OF INFLUENCE!

SUMMER SOLSTICE

2009-06-22T08:48:00.005-04:00

A Swedish Proverb goes like this:
"A life without love is like a year without summer."

Summer is upon us as Summer Solstice 2009 occurred last night, during the night of June 21, 2009 at 1:45 a.m. Sol + stice derives from a combination of Latin words meaning "sun" and "to stand still". As the days lengthen, the sun rises higher and higher until it seems to stand still in the sky. Just one more phenomenon of nature that we can all stand in awe of!

Longtime friends joined us at Blue Ridge Lake over the weekend to celebrate LIFE, more specifically, my husband's birthday and Father's Day. The lake temperature was ideal, around 82 degrees and Scott, our daughter's friend landed his wakeboarding flip, a feat he had been working on for more than a year! My girlfriend's mama, Dorothy, age 78 , took a spin on a jetski. Summertime creates memories! Yes, the dog days of summer have officially started and what a fine way to begin it...with our children and their buddies, our friends from college, neighbors from our children's growing up days, and colleagues from work. In all, 27 of us feasted on fried chicken, grilled veggies, pasta and green salad, hash brown casserole, sweet tea and more! And by the way...in case all this sounds highly exhausting to you, I must share that as a 50 something woman, it is more important than ever to get everyone involved in the chores and the preparation!
We had kids packing coolers, cutting brownies, dropping biscuits onto a pan, and yes, even collecting trash and cleaning bathrooms before our final boatride of the weekend. Teamwork and delegating is imperative!

Let us..."Live in each season as it passes:
breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit."
~Henry David Thoreau~

SUMMER IS HERE!

MY BEST FRIEND

2009-06-19T09:42:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, my best friend, my husband celebrated another birthday. We made merry on this day by feasting over a Mexican Fiesta with friends, family and a Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey homemade ice cream cake!
He has now lived 18,890 days since his birth on June 19, 1957! And I have just calculated that I have had the blessing to know this man for 11,190 of these days. We've been married for 9,730 days and 7,420 days have passed since he first became a father.

This makes me think of Frank Sinatra's quote about his loved one:
"May you live to be one hundred and may the last voice you hear be mine."

And one of my all-time favorite quotes comes to us from Abraham Lincoln:
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, buddy! And HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, too! You and I have certainly experienced the following unknown quote:
"Fathers carry snapshots in their wallets where their money used to be."

THE SWAN COACH HOUSE

2009-06-19T09:06:00.003-04:00

Our book club, this past Thursday night, feasted on a menu item named SWAN'S FAVORITE, thanks to the efforts of our gracious host, Ann. Our dinner included the delicious signature chicken salad served over lettuce, creamy frozen fruit salad, cheese straws and a thirst-quenching sunshine punch. Delighting in this wonderful menu as we discussed our book THE SWAN HOUSE took me back to the countless times I have visited this historical landmark in Atlanta, Georgia.

I recall putting on my best dress, usually an Easter dress, and going to The Swan House with my mother and sisters. We did not go often, only on special occasions, but I remember these times with great joy. The fabric lined walls, the fresh roses on each table, the sweet tea, the female camaraderie. Since then, I have been there many times to honor a girlfriend on her fiftieth birthday or to celebrate an anticipated wedding or a new baby.

If you have never been to The Swan Coach House, you must put it on your list for your next visit to Atlanta! The Swan Coach House is located at 3130 Slaton Drive, Atlanta, GA 30305 and their contact number is 404-261-0636. Their website is:
www.swancoachhouse.com

This breathtaking estate was transformed into a thriving tearoom, gift shop and art gallery by a group of extraordinary women in 1965. Their group was called the Forward Arts Foundation. These distinguished art patrons, whose dynamic leadership was matched by their determination came together to bring about this charming place that is enjoyed by a myriad of folks today. This reminds me that you never know what might come about when a group of women put their minds on a task at hand!

BOOKS!

2009-06-18T16:22:00.003-04:00

Our monthly book club met last night and we discussed THE SWAN HOUSE, By, Elizabeth Musser. Thankfully, I finished reading this book just in time early yesterday afternoon. Set in Atlanta, in the year of 1962, we all agreed that the story was thought-provoking and the characters were well developed. We had a great discussion.
This is the first book club I have participated in and I have really enjoyed it! If you love to read, I strongly encourage you to find or start a club...
Thinking of book clubs and reading reminds me of Victor Hugo's quote:
"It is from books that wise men derive consolation in the troubles of life."

One phrase from THE SWAN HOUSE that keeps coming back to mind came from the mouth of Ella Mae Maddux, a compassionate, loving woman that helped take care of the Middleton Family in this historical fiction story. The racial unrest of that day could not be ignored, and yet, uneducated, African American Ella Mae was one of the wisest characters in the entire book. As she counseled 16 year old Mary Swan Middleton, it became apparent to me that Ella Mae had been around the block a time or two. Ella Mae, in her faith journey, had learned much more than the average woman, especially when you consider the time.
Ella said: "You's had some hard things happen in yore life, Mary Swan. And you's learnin'some hard lessons. But don't you stew over these things. Give 'em back to Him and let Him make something beautiful out of them. I guarantee He will. But it won't be nothin' to make you proud of yourself. It'll be some way where you'll jus'praise Him for what He's done. Now that you done asked Him to take ova'in yore life, and you got the Holy Ghost in ya, well, ya be listenin' ta Him, honey."
(page 398)

Don't you think it is tremendous the way a woman can literally lose herself in a good book!?! For the 50 something woman, as well as any age woman or man, books can be a fine part of any day. Kathleen Norris pondered this subject in her own way:
"Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting me at the end of a long day makes that day happier." I agree!
What extraordinary read will you pick up this upcoming summer weekend?

AGE~IF YOU DON'T MIND, IT DOESN'T MATTER

2009-06-16T08:42:00.004-04:00

Someone once said that life is made up of:

THE TENDER TEENS
THE TEACHABLE TWENTIES
THE TIRELESS THIRTIES
THE FIERY FORTIES
THE FRETFUL FIFTIES
THE SERIOUS SIXTIES
THE SACRED SEVENTIES
THE ACHING EIGHTIES
SHORTENING BREATH
DEATH. SOD. GOD.

Patricia Lorenz, a Daily Guideposts writer had the following to say about this humorous depiction of life.

"When I first heard this little version of the stages of life, I was in my late thirties, which hadn't been 'tireless' at all. In fact, with four young children and various part-time jobs, I'd been 'exhausted' most of the time.
Now that I'm in my 'fiery' forties, believe me, there are days I don't feel fiery at all. Most days, in fact.
What's 'fretful' about the fifties? None of my friends in their fifties are 'fretful'...'tireless', perhaps, and other times 'aching' with exhaustion from working and playing so hard. And a dear aunt in her sixties is 'seriously' enjoying life. A dear friend in her seventies, is quite 'teachable' as she takes one college course after another. The white haired octogenarian down the block who just retired is as 'fiery' as they come, actively involved in politics, especially issues concerning the elderly.
It's a fact to be accepted and treasured: We can all be exactly what we want to be at any stage in life."

"At 20 we worry about what others think of us. At 40 we don't care what others think of us. At 60 we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all." UNKNOWN

Bette Davis reminds us that..."Old age is not for sissies." So let us continue on this journey, chuckling as we go, bringing to mind the scripture reference..."Laughter is good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)

AGE~A MATTER OF THE MIND

2009-06-16T07:56:00.005-04:00

Mark Twain once said:
"The issue of age is a matter of the mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!"

My Mama always expressed it this way: "I would never want to be any age but the age that I am today." Once again, I agree with my Mama.

As we age, it is critical that we continue to keep a favorable perspective about the aging process, after all, what choice do we really have!?! Just like the days, months, and years in our past, we can choose how we respond to our circumstances as we move forward in our lives. As we begin to notice more and more lines on our faces, we can consider the following quote by Thomas Bailey Aldrich: "To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent-that is to triumph over old age." Our inner beauty and our wisdom that has come with the longevity can begin to take over and shine.

Eleanor Roosevelt was quoted as saying: "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art." and H. L. Mencken said it like this: "As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft."

And as the years go by, we begin to know more and more loved ones who have passed away and gone on ahead of us, many before their 50th birthday. As we remember these special people in our lives, this truth aids us in recognizing the gift that our life really is! An unknown author asserts: "Do not resent growing older-many are denied the privilege."

Soon, we will look at some humor related to this aging process.

PURPOSEFUL LIVING

2009-06-15T21:27:00.006-04:00

As a 50 something woman, I have come to realize that purposeful living is a must.

One thing that I have learned is that this means that I no longer feel pressured to do "this" or "that"...but, instead, I desire to be intentional in choosing to spend my hours, my days, my months in ways that have meaning for me personally.

I am content to say that today was a day filled with whole-hearted living for me.

Now, obviously, this idea of purposeful living can be defined a number of different ways, but for me, it includes three things: FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS.

Today, I spent the day with one of my precious sisters, one of my FFs (forever friends from grade school), along with another friend, and sixteen women who have a goal of recovery from past addictions. Our day was spent in fellowship as my sister, my friends, and I sought to embolden and love on these women who are currently in a vulnerable state. We took a drive up to the North Georgia Mountains stopping at a scenic view, picnic site to devour BBQ sandwiches, chips, rice krispy squares and soft drinks. We then continued a little further north, ending up in a quaint cabin in the woods where we took in a beautiful waterfall, hikes, and rides on four-wheelers. Before heading home, we set up another buffet, this time of salads, deviled eggs, fruit, peach cobbler, and home-made butter pecan ice cream.
I left this group of incredibly courageous women to join my husband, just a little further north of this cabin in the woods...
Yes, this day was purposeful and for that, I am so grateful.

This day included FAITH...an opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus, FAMILY...a chance to serve alongside my sis and to end this day with my beloved husband, and FRIENDS...the good fortune of sharing the day with women that I care about.

BIRDS OF THE AIR

2009-06-13T07:36:00.004-04:00

The weather was stormy a good part of the night. This morning, the sunrise was stunning and the birds are now singing in celebration of a new day and clearer weather.
This reminds me of a verse that my Mama used to quote..."...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5B

When life brings storms, and it will, let us place our confidence in the one sure Entity that is immoveable, unchanging, and a sure refuge in times of trouble, God, Creator of heaven and earth.

As I type, I wonder, "Where do the countless birds I hear singing go during a threatening time like the one we experienced last night? The darkness, the driving rain, the thunder and lightning. Where do the birds find shelter?"

Matthew tells us the answer:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the BIRDS OF THE AIR; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. EACH DAY has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:33-34

LIFE CAN BE DIFFICULT

2009-06-12T06:41:00.006-04:00

Life can be difficult sometimes...especially in today's times. Where are the answers to all of the hard questions that we encounter as we go through our days? How do we receive help when circumstances cause us to want to respond in anger or discouragement? What can we do to ease our concerns regarding our children, our grandchildren? We can GO TO THE BIBLE.

Last night as I was leading a Bible Study, my co-leader would repeatedly encourage the ladies to "go to the Bible." One of the young girls asks questions continually and I love that! We encourage all of the ladies by reminding them that there are no dumb questions...and to always ask in order to learn.

Well, last night this same young lady asked the question:
"What do you mean when you say, 'Go to the Bible?' ".
This opened an incredible opportunity to share with the entire group of 10 women why and how they can "go to the Bible." The preface in my Life Application Bible states, "A small change every day adds up to a changed life--and that is the very purpose of Scripture."

Of studying the Word, Alice Zimmerman, age 64 from Arkansas, says, "Over the past 20 years, I've learned the joy and value of studying God's Word. That study has helped me to have more confidence in myself--and also shown me how I can more effectively reach out to encourage and minister to other women. As a result, I've been able to help many hurting women in difficult marriages."

It is so important to trust God completely-no matter what happens! Circumstances may look very bad to us, on a human level, but God always has something in mind that will work out to His glory. The index in the back of most Bibles can prove to be so helpful when looking for that "just right" reference. When I flipped to 'anger', I found more than 20 verses that I can look up to learn more! Under the entry of 'peace', there were 15 cites listed.

My international, missionary nurse often says "This earth is not our home."

In times of trouble, when you really think about it, where else can we turn, but to God, our Creator?

BALANCE

2009-06-10T12:17:00.007-04:00

Yesterday, I met one of my best buddies at Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park, just minutes from the homes we have raised our families in.
This park has eighteen miles of maintained interpretive hiking trails, ideal picnic areas and a 1.25 mountain road that is also suitable for strenuous fitness.

As we hiked, we talked about how important it is to have balance in our lives. We agreed that as we let our life shine for God, our testimony can sparkle even brighter with moderation in all things.

These questions regarding balance can mean some of the same things to each of us...

"Am I getting enough exercise?"
"Is there enough "ME TIME" in my week?"
(i.e. a break for a bubble bath or an occasion to spend an hour reading a novel)
"Am I spending plenty of quality time with my children/grandchildren?"
"Do I take time out to spend time communing with and seeking God each day?"
FILL IN THE BLANK____________________ with your usual balance questions.

More likely, the details of our eagerness for steadfastness will be as varied as are different humans in this world. Your struggle or challenge to maintain balance may be poles apart from mine. However, one cool thing about God is that He is aware of and in the business of aiding us in our longing to gain balance in our lives.

As my girlfriend and I reached the crest of the trail , we gazed out over the splendid view from the top, stopping to rest for a moment before heading down the
1 1/4 mile mountain road.

It was then that I remembered something I had read recently about this very spot we were standing on...

"It was a swelteringly hot and clear Monday, June 27, 1864, when some of the heaviest fighting of the Atlanta Campaign occurred here. Preserved are historic earthworks, cannon emplacements and monuments. Interpreted here are the historic events where over 5,350 soldiers were killed in the battle fought here from
June 19, 1864 through July 2, 1864." (taken from www.nps.gov/kemo/)

Yes, this life is the real thing. This is not a dress rehearsal.
Let's all be on the lookout to create more balance in our days.

LIFE IS FRAGILE

2009-06-09T22:11:00.009-04:00

An old Turkish Proverb goes like this:
"Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose."

Last night as my husband and I were getting ready to meet some close friends for dinner out, our home phone rang and the caller id established that our son was the one on the other end. He had just left to pick up his girlfriend for a dinner date. When I answered the phone, I knew right away that he was distraught. "Mom," he said, "I've been in a car wreck." Once I determined where he was, I told him that his Dad and I would be right there.

Our son is seventeen and 107 days old. He has been an excellent driver thus far, seemingly understanding the dangers of speeding as well as texting while driving. Yesterday, he was involved in his first automobile collision as he rear-ended a young mom who was accompanied by her six month old baby daughter. Thankfully, everyone was okay and no one was injured in this mishap.

An accident. That is what we call this because it was, obviously, not brought about intentionally. Still, our son was so upset and thankfully, he was also remorseful about his lapse in concentration which led to these circumstances.

In the short time since all of this came about, we have already heard plenty of reports about car accidents. Even his Dad and I shared tales in our past that we have been involved in. Some who shared their story cited trauma or tragically, the death of the driver or a passenger.

An incident such as this, even just a little fender-bender, causes me to take a pause and remember how fragile our lives really are. This reminds me that each day is a gift. It causes me to utter my most frequent prayer these days, which is simply two words: "Thank You".

TRANSITIONS

2009-06-08T20:22:00.003-04:00

I spent the day with our son, a senior in high school, touring a beautiful southern college campus...Auburn University. Our daughter is a junior there, so we were able to go over and stay last night at her apartment. We only have the two children, so we are moving into a significant time of transition, a time of major movement in our pilgrimage, that will usher in a new season of life.

We face all kinds of transitions in life-going from grade school to high school; from single to married; from parent to grandparent, the passing on of loved ones. And in each transition, there is great potential for positive change OR for being unable to make needed changes.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803-April 27, 1882) stated:
"Not in his goals but in his transitions is a man shown to be great."

In line with the usual transition our family is embarking on, many 50 something women today are walking through their own realignment because of job loss or another notable life change. I want to do my best as I journey through the many transitions that are sure to come in my future.

That is why I wanted us to take a quick look at an old Civil War hero to see how he handled his turning point. In his book entitled LIFE MAPPING, John Trent, Ph.D, brought forth the following details about the life of General Robert E. Lee.

General R. E. Lee was the ranking commander of the Army of Northern Virginia. Lee left his home a wealthy man, commanding a mighty army, committed to victory. He would return in defeat, paroled as a prisoner of war, to a countryside mired with economic depression. At home he would find an invalid wife, five unemployed adult children, and another son missing in action.

General Lee's leadership ability was recognized on both sides of the line. But it was how he handled himself as a civilian after the war that truly showed his character. After seeing thousands of his own men die and his homeland devastated, he was quoted as saying: "I have never felt bitter or vindictive feelings towards the enemy, and I have never seen the day I did not pray for them." He was so committed to reconciliation that one historian would say of Lee, he did "more than any other American to heal the wounds of war."

Lee dedicated his later life to writing hundreds of letters, urging his fellow Southerners to put away their anger and focus on Christ and rebuilding the Union. In doing so, he provided a guiding light to thousands of Southerners who followed his example.

General Lee showed an extraordinary ability to bend with transitions, and he did so by believing that changes large and small come from the hand of God.

But some people are broken by times of change and crushed by an inability to accept even minor movements of life over which they have no control.
It is doubtful that very many of us have gone through as many losses and transitions as this Civil War hero. However, we all face our own brand of changes that can either disarm us or empower us to move forward.
What time of transition or change are you up against today? Will you choose to look at the positive potential or dwell on the potential problems?

RED AND YELLOW, BLACK AND WHITE

2009-06-07T14:31:00.002-04:00

Have you read the novel, The Swan House, By, Elizabeth Musser?

My friend, Ann, chose this book for our monthly book club meeting on June 17th and I am halfway through it.

As I read her work, Musser has me thinking...

I am throughly enjoying the setting and the era of this eloquent story. The setting is Atlanta, Georgia, just minutes from where I grew up. The time is the early
1960's, when I was just about to meet my FFs for the very first time at Fernbank Elementary. (see earlier blog entitled FOREVER FRIENDS dated 5/28/09)

Musser shows stupendous skillfulness as she interweaves her story so that it includes many difficult subjects including mental illness, racism, and wealth versus poverty, just to name a few.

I mentioned to my FFs last week that I would not be blogging on Sundays, but here I am because my heart has something to say!

I love when a book that I am reading causes me to take pause and look at my world, my sphere of influence, a little differently. As I sat in church this morning, I casually noticed that there were the same number of Caucasian folks as African American folks on my row. I also made note of a black gentleman named Keith, on the stage, who was helping to lead our praise music. In addition, I observed my friend, Raven, an accomplished saxophonist, likewise on the stage, who happens to be African American gentleman, as well.
Obviously and thankfully, there are not separate restrooms and water fountains for the varied members and guests at our church.
As I sat in our worship service, I began to ponder the hateful racial scenes that Elizabeth Musser has written about in THE SWAN HOUSE, and I ponder the truth... that much has, gratefully, changed during my lifetime.

My mind wanders to an enduring tune I learned as a child...

"Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world."

A MIST; AN INCH

2009-06-06T19:59:00.004-04:00

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes." James 4:14

At the risk of sounding like I have too much time on my hands (I don't) or that I am bored or lonely (I'm not), I must express that this Saturday was a very different one for me.
I began it by going to a very challenging seventy-five minute power boxing fitness class. I enjoyed connecting with two girlfriends there who were also up for the challenge. Whew! Once the class was over and I had finished a one mile walk with my 89 year old Daddy, I was in great need of a good 'ole bubble bath.
I got home and did just that! Magnificent!

Once all that was said and done, I prepared lunch for our son who would walk in from taking the SAT, college prep test, around 1:00 p.m. With my husband working, my son heading out with friends after his lunch, the house grew very quiet fast.
Now I consider myself in pretty good shape, still, my body was extremely fatigued from the intense morning workout.

As I took it easy around our home, I kept thinking about how as a 50 something woman I am working myself out of a job.

My journal from August 24, 1999 reads:

"I see my upcoming fall season as one that will give me time. My time has been so very wrapped up with readying our old house for the market and building this new one. TIME. There are so many things I NEED to accomplish, so many things I WANT to accomplish...but more than anything, I want to be in God's will. Better close here, 'cause I have many chores to do...I'm praying for God's will in my life."

As I look back on this entry nearly ten years ago, I see that my prayer has been answered. Our children have roots and wings, and as I have continued to seek His will in my life, I am closer to my God than I have ever been.

Benjamin Franklin said:
"YOU MAY DELAY, BUT TIME WILL NOT."

One of my dear friends likes to call our life "an inch".
So, I say, let's delight in the moments,
our inch,
while this TIME is here to be enjoyed!

"ATTAGIRL"

2009-06-05T15:25:00.004-04:00

Today was a pleasing day as I got to begin it by meeting 3 of my best local buddies to hike the trails at our local National Park. We like to say this time together is good for our bodies, but even better for our hearts and our minds. We get to "solve the problems of our world"! We share the goings and comings of our families with one another. This is surely excellent group therapy! All three of my friends have at least one daughter in their life, as do I. This got me thinking about the young ladies who are in our sphere of influence. I challenged myself, as a 50 something woman, just as I desire to continue growing, how can I encourage my daughter, her friends, my nieces, and the many other young girls in my life to grow, as well?

One of my many beautiful nieces is an international medical missionary. We have a local lunch spot that we always go to when she is in town. This has become a favorite turf for us because we eat upstairs where we can look over the square of our town.
WE always talk and talk and talk. We share our hearts with one another. It was today at lunch that I was expressing a new direction for this blog...positively influencing the young women that are in our homes and in our path. It is this niece that has been journaling for many years, in part, because her Aunt Joan encouraged her to begin her own journal back when she was in high school. During our meal together, she stated that she had read a statement that illustrates this idea:
LIVE ON PURPOSE

As a 50 something woman, I want to live on purpose, giving, encouraging, loving, and laughing with the young women God puts in my path. Don't misunderstand! It is also vitally important to likewise impact our young men. However, because I am a woman who has lived for 50 something years, conceivably, I have a bit of wisdom to impart. I want to live out my days in such a way that I purposefully impact these girls to grow.
How about you? Which young woman might you be thinking of that could use a boost of confidence, an "Attagirl!" from you today?

BE STILL AND KNOW

2009-06-04T11:24:00.000-04:00

Summer might be a good time to start a journal! I have been spending a good part of this day being quiet, reading, journaling, "allowing my body to catch up with my soul", as my Mama often said. Mama would stretch out in bed or on the couch without an excuse, except to be still and spend time resting herself.

As a 50 something woman, I do not believe women do this enough!
We hustle and bustle around taking care that everyone has what they need and want, and we too often forget that we, too, have needs.

When I am in my "being still" mode, I frequently ask myself:

"Is there a private world beneath the noise and action at the surface?
A world that needs to be explored and maintained?
Can strength and resilience be developed that will bear up under the pressure at the surface?"

As I have shared before, I find that one practical way to learn to listen to my soul speak, and also to listen to God speak in response to my soul, is through journaling. In fact, I have three ring notebooks that date back to 1989.
With a pen in hand ready to write, I have realized that there is an expectancy, a readiness to hear anything God may want to whisper to me through reading and reflection.
Some that have never really tried journaling might find it a bit intimidating. Your journal can be a pretty purchased one, simply a spiral notebook in your favorite color, or anything in between. I use loose leaf three ring paper that I keep in a notebook that is five by seven in size. If you are not sure what to write, just sit, be still and wait. At first it may be difficult. You may feel self-conscious, odd, just waiting to begin writing. If you try this, I can almost guarantee that you will soon realize that the journaling will help you come to grips with an enormous part of your inner person that you may not have ever been truly honest with. This tool can help you to develop more inner candidness when you are ready to do so. Your fears and struggles can be surfaced and confronted through journaling. Especially in our economic times of this day, we need a place to calm ourselves, a place to express deep concerns we are having.
One trick I like to share with journal newbies it so set a kitchen timer for 10-20 minutes, and do not stop writing until the timer chimes. Just write what is on your mind, in your heart, or even just details of your day.
God offers us more than 7,000 promises from Genesis to Revelation, one of them being to watch over us. Still, He asks us to do our part:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 4:23
So why not consider starting a journal today? If you do, journal keeping can become a habit for you if you will stick with it for the better part of a year.
Most people quit too quickly, never acieving the habit pattern, and that is too bad.

In closing, I have found journaling to be a wonderful way to commune with our God, to hear His still, small voice, as stated so well in Psalm 46:10,

"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."

In the words of C. Austin Miles' old hymn "In the Garden", consider heeding his advice to BE STILL.

"He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing."

A CHOICE FOR GROWTH

2009-06-03T21:12:00.000-04:00

I've been reading from the book YOUNGER NEXT YEAR, By Chris Crowley and Henry
S. Lodge, M.D. again. As I read, I am reminded of their main theme of the book, a choice that we make each day once we reach our forties, our fifites, and beyond.
The choice is between "growth" and "decay".

Tonight, I reluctantly chose GROWTH. Now, the procrastination was not because I did not want to "grow", instead it was because I did not want to exercise my body...I felt tired... I meant to work out earlier, but I spent the day with my 89 year old Dad who was making a move from one apartment to another one, just down the hall. My job was not to move him, but to hang out with him while his things were moved and rearranged. We had a nice day as I brought him to our home, fixed him lunch and then ran a couple of errands together before returning him to his new apartment. I came on back home after that and meant to work out and instead, got busy around the house...laundry needed folding, dinner preparation, you know the drill.

So before I realized it, the time had slipped away and it appeared to be even more unlikely that I would give myself the gift of a workout today.

It was then that I remembered the book mentioned above...GROWTH or DECAY?

I mean if you look at it like that, how can you possibly choose decay?

So I grabbed my free weights and worked my arms, went through my squat routine to strengthen my legs, and gave my heart and lungs a chance to shine on the elliptical machine.
Returning my thoughts to my very first blog post on April 8, 2009, I am reminded of the reason I was motivated to do this blog entitled: 50 something woman.
I was interested in this because I finally made the conscious decision to take care of myself, to put myself on "the list" as often as possible.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make ultimately are our own responsiblity."

The above mentioned book reminds us that "...the key to overriding the decay code are daily exercise, emotional commitment, reasonable nutrition, and a real engagement with living. But it starts with exercise." (see p. 36)
So let us engage ourselves in life and remember that every day matters.
Yes, LET'S GROW TOGETHER!

HOME SWEET HOME

2009-06-02T20:52:00.000-04:00

As a 50 something woman, I have realized that no matter how far from home I may roam, and no matter how wonderful a vacation destination might be, there is truly no place like home.
Today, I traveled back to my abode with a carpool of FFs (Forever Friends that I've known since Fernbank Elementary School) after spending nearly a week on the sandy white beaches of Florida.

Someone once said that a house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.
The thesaurus says it like this:
"A house is the building or structure where one lives, whereas, a home is the place one lives with the pleasant connotations or family ties included.

Some of the things I appreciated as I drove into our town and settled back into our home were the familiar streets and houses,
a hug and smile from my husband,
two excited dogs,
a friendly "hello" from a neighbor walking by as I watered our front porch pots,
my son asking his dad, "Is Mom home yet?" when he arrived home a bit later,
a few letters from friends, including one from my sister, Laura Lea,
the knowledge that I will spend tomorrow with my 89 year old Daddy,
dinner at home with my family,
quiet conversation,
certainty that I will sleep in my own bed, and
an undeniable reminiscence of the Forever Friends 2009 Beach Trip that will live in my mind and heart always.
Yes, going away can be magnificent, but for me, there is truly no place like home.

What is it about coming home that is special for you?

BEAUTY TIPS

2009-06-01T15:55:00.000-04:00

My daughter and one of our FFs just left us to drive four hours back to their homes.
Left behind are five of the FFs to enjoy one more day, one more night at the beach.
As I sat in my beach chair, eating a fresh chicken salad sandwich a few minutes ago and watched the other four FFs flopping around in the ocean, I grabbed my camera and had to take a shot at the beauty that was before me.
These girls , all fifty-something women are each one an illustration of inner beauty...actually, to me, they are an example of outer beauty, too! With a touch of sun, very little make-up has been needed, with a lot of fitness, we feel strong, and with incredible conversation, we feel equipped to go forward in our lives.
Most importantly, we have laughed and laughed and laughed...and THAT, alone is good medicine!

When asked to share her "beauty tips", this is the poem Audrey Hepburn wrote as her answer to the question.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

I really like these beauty tips and hope that I implement some of these in my daily life.
how about you? What are your favorite beauty tips?

DELIGHTFUL BEACH DAY WITH DAUGHTER AND FRIENDS!

2009-05-30T18:39:00.000-04:00

When my FFs (Forever Friends from Druid Hills High School) and I planned this trip to the sandy beaches of South Walton, it did not enter my mind that I might be blessed with a visit from our 20 year old daughter. She is in summer school and school is in session! On the drive down, we stopped by her exit at school for a hug and casually invited her to join us.
Well, SHE DID! She arrived just in time for a BLT and chips on the beach for lunch and a total afternoon with our feet in the sand. Her next class is not until Tuesday.
SANDY FEET ARE HAPPY FEET!
Leah loves these girlfriends and knows them all so well!
What a treat for me to not only spend time with these enjoyable friends, but to also have our daughter here, too!
As a fifty something woman, I realize more and more that connections with friends and family are more important with each passing day.
Every day matters and spending our moments with those we love the most makes for a very delightful day!

YOGA: HAVE YOU TRIED IT?

2009-05-29T14:10:00.000-04:00

For part of our fitness regime at the beach today, a few of us checked out a nearby health studio called BALANCE (www.BALANCE30A.com) to attend a seventy-five minute YOGA class. Now this was interesting for me as a newbie, because I am known (especially by these girls who knew me as a high school cheerleader!) for my lack of coordination. :~)

If you go to THE BALANCE HEALTH STUDIO website you will read the following:

MIND. BODY. BREATH.
Developed in India, yoga is a physical discipline with roots going back about 5,000 years. Today, this unbroken tradition can be found all over the world. Most yoga practices in the West focus on the physical postures called "asanas", breathing exercises called "pranayama" and meditation.
However, there's more to it than that, and the deeper you go, the richer and more diverse the tradition becomes.
At BALANCE we believe in movement because we understand that movement is LIFE!
With regular practice, yoga can create flexibility, build strength and develop stamina.

This class was led by Melissa and she did a marvelous job helping me, and a few others in the class that were new at this, to feel comfortable. Two of my FFs were there with me and they, as accomplished yogis, were also very encouraging. We also had a 20 year old niece with us who has told us that this group of 50 something friends has "inspired her" to work out more! And yes, the rest of the group took their morning walk or run for today's fitness...
I found this experience to be inspiring, cleansing and therapeutic for both my body and my mind. When I return to Georgia, I plan to attend a local class and maybe even pick up a yoga DVD to use at home.
How about you? Have you tried this for fitness and well-being? Why not try something today that is new and inspiring, like yoga?

FOREVER FRIENDS

2009-05-28T12:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, five of my FFs ~ friends that I have known since my childhood, thus known as FOREVER FRIENDS ~ traveled through Georgia and Alabama, arriving here on the sandy beaches of South Walton and Scenic 30-A just in time for a sunset over the bay. A sixth will join us later today. The other two have family vacations that will keep them from joining us...this time.
Yes, there are eight of us in all, graduating from Druid Hills High School, in Atlanta in 1976. When we are together, it is like stepping into a time machine because we see each other through thousands of shared memories.
And this morning, we have already power walked 4 miles, collected the "kitty", monies for the provisions, and stocked the pantry and frig. Our beach picnic is almost ready and the cooler is packed , so I better finish this up!
This group is linked by more than forty five years of experiences and memories, eight women from Decatur, Georgia. WE are a lesson in the power and lifelong benefits of friendship. We remind each other about important health appointments.
We commiserate, console one another about unique issues in our lives and we solve the problems of the world.
GIRLFRIENDS, and SISTERS, TOO, add so much to a life journey, whether they have been around for years like my special group of FFs, or they are a new addition in my life.
GIRLFRIENDS understand better than anyone else around.
YES, FFs are a gift I hope I will never take for granted.

I just read this aloud to this extraordinary group of girls....Have you told you your special girlfriend how much you care about her? Why not call, write, text, or email her today?

SAND IN MY SHOES

2009-05-27T22:46:00.000-04:00

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing." Helen Keller

My Mama used to always claim to have sand in her shoes, claiming to be on the ready for the next adventure in her life. I am becoming more like this with each passing day and the past 24 hours is proof of that. Last night, I was sleeping with family on the lake in the North Georgia Mountains and tonight, I am spending the night with friends on the coast of Florida. Yes, I, too, have sand in my shoes.

One of the things that I am realizing is so important as a 50 something woman is to connect with others, friends and family alike.
These girls I am at the beach with have been my sidekicks for more than forty years! How blessed I am to be here for the next several nights with these bosom buddies.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944), a French writer, pilot and author of The Little Prince said: "It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and in creative action, that man finds his supreme joy."

So what about you...what adventure are you looking forward to in your life?
Do you have sand in your shoes?

SUNRISE, SUNSET

2009-05-26T07:47:00.000-04:00

Last night, the sunset over Blue Ridge Lake was awe-inspiring, a real masterpiece!

My sister, Laura and our husbands joined me as we gazed at the close of another day quietly for a good 45 minutes...beautiful... another day in our life journey and a cause to look forward to tomorrow with great anticipation for what a new day might bring.
"His mercies are NEW every morning." Lametations 3:23

This reminded me of the words to a song that was sung during our wedding reception nearly 27 years ago:

SUNRISE, SUNSET

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don't remember getting older, when did they?

Whe did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?

Sunrise, Sunset. Sunrise, Sunset.
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers.
Blossoming even as they gaze...

Sunrise, Sunset. Sunrise, Sunset.
Swiftly fly the years,
One season following another,
Laden with happiness and tears...
One season following another,
Laden with happiness and tears.

Yes, the seasons of our lives come and go, but our kinship, our bond with friends, family and God are what make these moments in time all the richer.

"From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised."
Psalm 113:3

As a 50 something woman, I suppose I may have more than 10,950 more sunsets, possibly 120 seasons...if I live as long as expected...

In what ways are you making your seasons memorable?

A LIVING HERO

2009-05-25T12:14:00.000-04:00

Memorial Day Weekend at Blue Ridge Lake in the North Georgia Mountains has been amazing as we have reflected on the truth that ...FREEDOM IS NOT FREE...

As a 50 something woman, I know some heroes that have died for our country in Vietnam or other conflicts and I know many others that have survived their time spent serving our country in some United States Military capacity.

My own brother, John, is a retired Marine that was emergently flighted off the battlefield in 'Nam in need of appendectomy surgery. Thankfully, his commanders sent him back home to America for recovery. This was a very trying time for our nation as our communities' young men, age 18, were drafted, badly injured or even died in this horrific combat. After Vietnam, John continued as a United States Marine serving in many future U. S. conflicts, including the Gulf War. My brother is the father of three incredible children and the husband of a beautiful and talented woman. John is truly a living hero!
SEMPER FI!

Another living hero joined us for our cookout yesterday. We had 17 people in all, and eleven of these were students between the ages of 17 and 21. We decided to ask this living hero, our brother-in-law, Jim to share his personal military experiences with us. In particular, we wanted these young people to hear from Uncle Jim to help them develop more of an understanding and appreciation of the reason for this Memorial Day holiday that we all look so forward to.
Jim graduated high school in Tennessee in 1964 and went onto complete his college degree in 1968. Our country was in the height of the Vietnam Conflict at this time. Jim knew it was just a short matter of time before his draft notice would appear in his mailbox, so he worked at miscellaneous jobs as he waited. On December 8, 1968 he received his draft notice and was sworn in to the U. S. Army. Jim went through basic training, AIT (Advanced Infantry Training) and then onto OCS (Officer Cadet School for Engineering) On February 13, 1970, Jim graduated as a 2nd LT, top of his class as a Distinguished Military Graduate with the privilege of a choice of where he wanted to serve his tour. He chose 3rd Army Headquarters at Fort McPherson,
GA, which followed his Vietnam Training School.

Later, in April, 1972, Jim was promoted to Captain with orders for Vietnam. At this same time, the U.S. started the cutback of troops and President Richard Nixon asked if anyone wanted to get out of the service early. Uncle Jim raised his hand and the rest is history... Jim went onto meet my beautiful sister, whom he has been married to for over 35 years and they raised two wonderful children together. Jim has lived his life with noble purpose, generous service to God and man, and a work ethic beyond compare.

Jim's final message to us this Memorial Day goes like this:
"Thank you, America, for allowing me to serve a country to protect the freedoms that we have now and the freedoms for generations to come. GOD BLESS AMERICA. "

And one other living hero, whom I have never met, was recognized on Good Morning America on March 5th back in 2003. Charlie Gibson was interviewing General Earl Hailston, the commanding general of Marine Forces Central Command. The general was waiting with his troops just a few miles off the border of Iraq...waiting to go to war. Toward the end of the interview, Charlie asked him if he had any hobbies.
The general said, "Yes, I love photography, especially taking photos of my men."
He shared that while he had been waiting for the past few days he took photos of his men, and at night he would email the photos with a brief note to their mothers back in the USA. Charlie asked if he could see a sample of a letter and the general walked into his tent, turned on his computer, and read the last letter he had sent.

It said:

Dear Mrs. Johnson,
I thought you might enjoy seeing this picture of your son. He is doing great. I also wanted you to know that you did a wonderful job raising him. You must be very proud. I can certainly tell you that I am honored to serve with him in the U.S. Marines.
Sincerely,
General Earl Hailston

What living hero have you been honored to share your life journey with?

MAKE A NOTATION

2009-05-23T11:08:00.000-04:00

One of the things I love to do when I have a few minutes is to peruse a cookbook or some other book that I know for sure my Mama held in her hands at one time or another.
My Mama was really good about having a pen in hand whenever she opened a book, whether it was her Bible, a favorite cookbook, or an inspirational read. I love finding a notation in her own unique handwriting. Often, along with her note would be a date as well as her initials, indicating that "I was here, in this book, on this day and here you will read my very thoughts about what I was reading."
The written remarks are mostly brief..."delicious! perfect for a crowd" or " I want to do this more," she might have written next to a devotion that spoke to her heart on a particular day.
I, as a 50 something woman, have developed this same habit and I love it! I enjoy using a dictionary (or dictionary.com!) to look up words that I might run across in a devotion, not because I have no idea what they mean, but because I want to have a greater understanding of how the writer intended to use that particular word to get his/her message across. I nearly ALWAYS date and name the event that I took the time to prepare a special recipe for. It is fun to look back, and remember those times when we sat around the table laughing, loving and yes, enjoying that favorite recipe!
And, my Bible is full of dates and thoughts and notes that I have dashed off through the years. These, too, bring back fond memories of days gone by...a baby dedication, a particularly inspiring message from the pulpit, a date for my reading of one chapter PROVERBS each day. These notes remind me that I am on the right and best path for me at this time.
Just as my mother took the time to make her notations along her life journey, I want to give this gift to my children and grandchildren, as well. I want them to read a jotted note by me, smile, and say : "That was important to my MOM on that day!"
How about you....what notation will you make today?

A LIFE EXPERIENCE

2009-05-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

I had the chance to meet seven pretty incredible women at the new Women's Extension Center tonight. I am truly still reeling from this life experience. This center opened in our community on May 1, 2009 to house women who desire a change in their life. Women who are addicts of some sort. I realized tonight that the drug or drink of choice is not what matters. Instead, what matters is that an addiction of some sort has taken over a life. And these women have decided to face their fears and deal with an addiction that has literally taken over their life. This center will house up to twenty women at any given time and this home already has 10 women.
The eyes of each lady were glued to me as I shared from my heart, reminding them that courage is simply fear that has said its prayers. I praised them for the courage they were showing by facing the truth of their addiction.
The difficulty, the hardships that were shared with me took my breath away..."I've been raped six times..." "I was smokin'crack cocaine up until I came here on
May 5th." ...and more.
As I embraced these women, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the life that I have been given. Yes, I have had some rocks in my path...but no boulders or potholes, like these women.
After our meeting, the ladies invited us to join them for a spaghetti dinner. The cool thing was that the dinner was provided by a local AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) group. A man who was part of their group shared with me that this is one of the ways that they stay sober is by helping others who want to recover from addiction...

This reminded me of something my Mama used to always say...ËACH ONE REACH ONE."

And this prompted me to reconsider the story about the young boy that was on a beach one day.
The beach was covered with live star fish that had been washed up onto the sand. One by one, the boy threw the starfish back into the ocean to save them from sure death on the hot beach. A man came by, and observing the young boy, said "Young man, what do you think you are doing? You can't make a difference here. There are just too many starfish on this beach."
The young boy picked up another starfish and hurled it out into the sea, saying, " I made a difference for that one!"
And so it is with each life experience that we find ourselves in. We share, we encourage, we laugh, we cry, we love and we live each day and when we choose to make a difference in another's life, then our life experiences are all the richer for it.

A SOJOURNER

2009-05-20T07:01:00.000-04:00

"You only live once-but if you work it right, once is enough." Joe F. Lewis

You and I, we are sojourners on this earth. The Webster's dictionary defines a sojourner as follows:

"...one who is having a brief, temporary stay; a brief residence"

WE are sojourners on this earth because this earth is not our home.

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14

Last night, as I worked for several hours organizing my thoughts, my story, in anticipation of sharing with the recovering ladies at the Women's Extension Center, it quickly became apparent to me how far God has brought me in my life.
HOW ENCOURAGING!!! My main prayer has become two words: "Thank You."
As a 50 something woman, (or any age woman!) I believe it is positively cathartic, very freeing, to think through, and even possibly write down your story, your personal testimony.
As I have expressed before, I have kept a journal for more than 20 years.
This simple tool has so often aided me in working through issues that have burdened my heart in my day-to-day life.
If you are not sure how to get started, try setting a timer for 10-20 minutes and just WRITE, WRITE, WRITE until the timer chimes...or TYPE, TYPE, TYPE...whichever is most comfortable for you.
In sharing with these women, I came up with the following verses to guide me:

Matthew 6:26-27
Lamentations 3:22-23
Galatians 5:1

"If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?" Rabbi Hahman of Bratslay

Today, I encourage you to consider yourself as a sojourner as you contemplate your life journey. How far have you come?

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

2009-05-19T08:46:00.000-04:00

I am preparing my heart and mind to share my testimony with a group of ladies this coming Thursday night. These ladies are new residents, as of May 1, 2009, of a Women's Extension Center, a 60 day program for women that want to recover from drug and/or alcohol abuse.
A friend of mine has asked for my help and I am in the process of recruiting volunteers to help out in many areas as this new center evolves.
My book club just finished discussing the book BROKEN, A story of Redemption and Recovery By, William Cope Moyers. I highly recommend this book to anyone that might want to have a clearer understanding of the horrific disease of sddiction.
I believe that reading this book has better equipped me to minister to these women at The Women's Extension Center.
I keep thinking about a quote I heard once, although I do not recall who said it.
"They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
This Thursday night is an opportunity for Bible Study for these women, to help them see that there are answers in the Word. However if I go in there and share a bunch of scripture verses with them, some of whom have never opened the Bible before, I know that my sharing will not be effective.
Instead, I will share from my heart, my personal story about how God rescued me, and I will love these women, because ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

WHAT IS SUCCESS?

2009-05-18T07:35:00.000-04:00

I just spent some time writing checks and readying a few graduation cards. We are at that season of life where we are helping our friends and family members celebrate this milestone juncture in a young person's life: high school commencement, college graduation, or even a convocation from some professional school. One of our best friend's daughter is graduating from the Naval Academy and going on to Flight School! Wow, what an accomplishment!
Yes, the Class of 2009 is certainly something to honor and commend!

Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803-April 27,1882) was an American essayist, philosopher and poet best remembered for leading the Transcendentalist movement of the early 19th century.
As I was considering what success in life really is, I was reminded of this well-known poet's definition:

TO LAUGH OFTEN AND MUCH; TO WIN THE RESPECT OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE AND AFFECTION OF CHILDREN; TO EARN THE APPRECIATION OF HONEST CRITICS AND ENDURE THE BETRAYAL OF FALSE FRIENDS; TO APPRECIATE BEAUTY, TO FIND THE BEST IN OTHERS; TO LEAVE THE WORLD A BIT BETTER, WHETHER BY A HEALTHY CHILD, A GARDEN PATCH OR A REDEEMED SOCIAL CONDITION; TO KNOW EVEN ONE LIFE HAS BREATHED EASIER BECAUSE YOU HAVE LIVED.

THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED.

By, Ralph Waldo Emerson

WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS?

Let's "GET IT RIGHT"

2009-05-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

A good friend and I were chatting on his front porch a couple of days ago and he was letting me know that his mother's cancer had spread and she does not have long. He and I talked about what kind of Mama she had been and I cannot get what he said to me out of my mind...he said: ~
"When my mother reaches the gates of heaven, she will hear the words...
'You got it right'."
While my friend elaborated very ittle about what exactly he meant by this, I knew without a doubt what he was saying to me...

His mother made sure to ~~~~LOVE WELL ~~~LAUGH OFTEN and LOVE MUCH~~~~

I want to get it right, too! Don't you!?!

GRADUATION TIME: A new beginning

2009-05-16T21:55:00.000-04:00

I was at the graduation for my son's school today, as a volunteer, because he will not be a senior until next year. The volunteers were in charge of setting up a lovely reception to follow the ceremony. Everything was pulled together at 2:50, as the event was to take place at 3:00 p.m. The flowers and balloons had been arranged and were in place. The cake, punch, and nuts were ready for the crowd.
Just before the graduation began, a woman ran into the reception area calling out to us: "Call 911, my uncle is ill!" We of course, called 911, and the emergency vehicles were on the way. One of the administrators ran to his office to obtain a AED (Automated External Defibrillators). It has become more and more common for public places to have a machine like this available for cardiac emergencies.
This machine when attached to the victim reads the heart rhythm and directs the responders as to what they need to do until the ambulance arrives. A friend of mine that was present as a mom of one of the 2009 graduates, who is also a cardiac nurse, along with an Oncologist, who had a son graduating assisted this gentleman until the EMTs arrived. The good news is that the man appears to have improved with the passing of a few minutes and that is good considering my friend reported to me that he had NO heart rate and no pulse when she first appeared on the scene. She stated
that the AED was what made the difference in this medical emergency...Thankfully, this school was equipped with one! Hopefully, this gentleman will realize that he has been given a new beginning, and actually, all those folks in the audience should also realize the fragility of life after witnessing this experience...I know these were the thoughts that went through my mind!
And on this graduation day, a day for new beginnings, my thoughts once again returned to my Mama who passed away in October 2006, after just 4 short months of cancer.
When I was with her, I tried to be brave and put up this cheerful front. But there was this one night a couple of weeks before she left us that I was crying openly on the phone as I talked with her. "Joan," she said, "This is a new beginning." And so it was...

WOMAN WITH CLARITY

2009-05-15T20:58:00.000-04:00

As I hoped, my vision was much clearer when I awakened this morning. I checked in with my doctor and he was happy with my overnight progress. My visual clarity is returning as expected.
You know, Helen Keller was born just like most newborn babies. There was much hope and anticipation when Helen came into the world on June 27, 1880. It was at age 18 months after a serious illness that she was left blind and deaf. Later, it was with the help and guidance of Annie Sullivan that Helen began to gain clarity about her life and her future became bright even through incredible adversity.
By the time Helen was 16 years of age, she was accepted into Radcliffe College and in 1904, she graduated cum laude, with honors.
As a young woman, Helen found her passion and became interested in improving the lives of others. With insight, energy, and deep devotion, she lectured throughout the world, worked to forward her ideas in Congress, and wrote thousands of letters asking for contributions to finance efforts to improve the welfare of the blind.
Annie Sullivan served as Helen's counselor and companion. When Helen died just before her 87th birthday, her name had become a worldwide symbol of what the human spirit can accomplish despite severe physical limitations.

I find many of Helen Keller's quotes inspiring. Following are some of my favorites:

"The best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."

"The only thing worse than being blind, is having sight, but no vision."

"What I am looking for is not 'out there', it is in me."

There is much we can learn from this remarkable woman who gained much clarity throughout her life.

GAINING CLARITY

2009-05-14T20:30:00.000-04:00

My daughter took me earlier this afternoon for lasik eye surgery on my left eye. Because I am still recovering, my vision is blurry as I type, so I feel certain this will be a short post. I should have more visual clarity when I awaken in the morning. As I was resting after the surgery, I began to think about the inner clarity that has been coming into my life more than ever in recent months since becoming a 50 something woman. Clarity is defined as having clearness as to understanding or perception. I do believe that clarity is not something that just happens, but instead, it is something that will happen as we begin to be still and LET THINGS GO.

Mahatma Ghandi said "In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness."

One of my favorite all time heroes, a woman known for brave deeds and noble qualities, is Helen Keller. She gained much clarity as she lived out her days and I will share more about her tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am wondering what it is you and I need to gain more clarity about today. Is it that difficult relationship that has been bogging us down? Could it be that we KNOW that we need to alter our eating and exercise habits, but we are just not doing it?
Is it that we need to live a more simple life? Perhaps, it is that we need to love and care for ourselves in the same way that we love and care for the important people in our lives.
Let us make every effort to be clear-minded as we walk through our days. That should be recognized as one of the greatest benefits of being this age!

Chelle Thompson, Editor of Inspirtation Line says it like this:
"In my own life I've practiced stepping back a bit, emotionally from difficult situations so that I could gain clarity of perspective. It's quite a miraculous feeling to recognize that we do not have to be victims of circumstance because the very freedom we seek is within each of us."

YES...LET US BE HONEST AND FRANK WITH OURSELVES AND GAIN MORE CLARITY TODAY!
We only get one chance at this life...one time around.

DO IT ANYWAY!

2009-05-13T08:36:00.000-04:00

I did not feel like exercising this morning...but I did it anyway and I am glad!
In fact, I must say that I have never worked out and not felt much better afterwards.
This is a good point to remember! As a 50 something woman, exercise brings on growth, whereas a lack of it can bring on decay...I want growth, and I'll bet you do, too!
This reminds me of another kind of "DO IT ANYWAY!"

As we journey through life, we will often encounter what I call "sand paper people". You know, those that can be difficult to get along with no matter what.
These folks need love just like the rest of us.
In our home, I have the following framed in our living area...I try to read it often, because it reminds me of fitting ways to LIVE and LOVE!

ANYWAY

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends, and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight, build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." ~MOTHER TERESA~

LET'S DO IT ANYWAY!

THE GRASS WITHERS AND THE FLOWERS FALL

2009-05-12T07:52:00.000-04:00

As I studied some scripture this morning, I was moved by some Truth in the book of 2 Peter...It has so many of life's answers in just a few short verses:

"For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, LOVE. For if you possess THESE qualities in INCREASING measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord, Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, (s)he is nearsighted and blind, and has FORGOTTEN that (s)he has been cleansed from past sins." 2 Peter 1:5-9

So, today, if you have are asking some difficult questions of LIFE, I hope you will consider these verses as part of the answer He may have for you.

Also, I have been renewed by a particular website that I know will bless you, too.
I was introduced to Martha Williamson by my sister, Laura Lea when she was going through the nearly year long trial with her son, Brad. Martha's work is an inspiration and an encouragement...Just view one of her very short videos, and I know you will agree.
Go to:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/MarthaWilliamson

Today's topic goes along with this scripture and is entitled:

"Tell ME Why"

And before I leave this idea of studying the Word, I must share one of my favorite ways to read it often, if not daily:
I read a Proverbs of the day, depending on the day of the month. Today, for example, I read Proverbs 12 for May 12th. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs...one for each day of the month! There is such wisdom and life application in this book. Billy Graham once said: " I read five Psalms a day and that teaches me how to get along with God and I read a chapter of Proverbs a day because that teaches me how to get along with my fellow man."
Here is an example of the wisdom that is in today's Proverbs! Proverbs 12:1 really spoke to me this morning..."Whoever loves discipline loves knowlege, but (she) he who hates correction is stupid." Note: If you don't want to learn, years of schooling will teach you very little. But if you want to be taught, there is no end to what you can learn.
And I will add to that: "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement." (unknown)

So, in closing, let us always remember that...

"The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

ARE YOU A HOSTAGE TO A BAD HABIT?

2009-05-11T07:32:00.000-04:00

I started on a three week journey yesterday. For the next three weeks, I am planning to destroy a habit that has burndened me for some time. While I do not plan to specifically name this habit, nor do I expect you to name yours, I hope in reading this you, too, will be encouraged to overcome a habit that has been a burden for you.

A good friend of mine recently said it like this: "You know the difference between freedom and slavery...if a particular action on your part does not give you the feeling of freedom, therein may lie your problem."

As 50 something woman, or actually, any age, man or woman, we can ALL begin to conquer habits that imprison us...Let's start today!

Here's how to replace bad, old habits with good ones-a simple plan to change your life. I really don't remember how or when I heard that it takes just three weeks to form a good habit. The initial few days of the three weeks, you may very well expect to be miserable as you attempt to gain victory over a habit that has been with you for sometime... YOU may even feel that this is an impossible undertaking. As time marches on, and you mark each successful day off the calendar for the next three weeks, you will begin to feel like a true winner! YOU will experience empowerment! YOU will see a change in yourself that you will appreciate and love!
YOUR habit that you choose to rid yourself of can be a physical one...
"I want to eat more fruits and vegetables.",
"I want to floss daily."
a relational one..."I want to be more positive and encouraging, less critical to my child/spouse.",
"I want to stop with the negative self-talk." or
_______________________________FILL IN THE BLANK
with the habit that has kept you imprisoned...YOU know what it is!

Yesterday was DAY ONE for me...Will today or tomorrow be DAY ONE for you?
Let's destroy our bad habits together one at a time!
AS we journey through our days, we can release the burdens of a lifetime of bad habits... just one day at a time...WE can help ourselves to become better people by plugging away at particular areas of our lives. WE can review each week the GOOD habits we've managed to acquire to avoid falling back into old patterns. The best part of this is that the aforementioned experience can give us the confidence to see that we can reform ANYTHING we want to refine about ourselves by PERSISTING for three weeks! Let's start today!
(Note: information taken from a Reader's Digest article by, Anya Bateman, September 1983)

CHILDREN ARE A GIFT!

2009-05-10T18:52:00.000-04:00

Just the mention of or the thought of children brings to mind so many beautiful memories...of either being a child and/or having children yourself. Every human being since Adam and Eve, several billion of us, began life in the same way, as children. The majority of us have gone on to have children and grandchildren of our own.

"Babies are such a nice way to start people." ~Don Herold~

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." ~Carl Sandburg~

"You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth." ~Kahlil Gibran~

As we come to the end of Mother's Day 2009, it is good to reflect on our childhood, on our own mothers and also on the kind of mothers we have chosen to be, that is if we have been blessed with the holy privilege of being a mom.
I know my children, a daughter, age 20 and a son, now age 17 have made me feel extra special on this day. I realize more with each passing day that even though motherhood is the hardest job ever, I would not trade it for the world!
I love these young people so much! They have added a richness to my life that is indescribable
And...those who have not become mothers may want to consider the impact one can have on children in other ways...like being a wonderful aunt, a good and loving neighbor, a gifted teacher, and a friend of children in church or here and there.
WE are all here for such a time as this.
All children need to know that they have someone they can count on.
Perhaps YOU are that someone in a child's life today...if so, that is incredibly special!

MY MOTHER REMEMBERED

2009-05-08T21:38:00.000-04:00

Everyone is focused on the holiday of this weekend: MOTHER'S DAY, and so am I! I am, once again, thinking of my own mother and all that she taught me and gave me in the forty-eight years we were here together. One of the main things she taught me is a quote by Stephen De Grellet:
"I shall pass through this world but once.
If, therefore, there should be any kindness I can show,
Or any good thing I can do, let me do it now...
For I shall not pass this way again."

My Mama was adopted at the age of three by a Southern Baptist Preacher, his wife and their three biological sons. She was always so very thankful for the secure and happy haven this family provided for her. Later, she married my Daddy and fulfilled her lifetime dream of being a foreign missionary along with him since that was also his dream and passion. They lived in Africa for 5 years before returning stateside to care for their aging parents. Once they returned, they had 3 more of their six children (including me! I was # 5!) They celebrated their 58th year of marriage just before her death in 2006. What I remember the most about living with Mom was that she was always helping others...taking fresh baked cakes and punch to the veterans at the local VA Hospital, preparing Wednesday night dinner at church, and helping anyone, anywhere that needed a hand.
When I think about and remember my Mama, it is confirmed to me that the best moms don't just talk about what's right and wrong-they set good examples and inspire their sons and daughters to follow in their footsteps.
Being a good mother isn't easy.
Robert Louis Stevenson said it very well:
"To be rich in admiration and free from envy, to rejoice greatly in the good of others, to love with such generosity of heart that your love is still a dear possession in absence or unkindness, these are gifts which money cannot buy, and in many cases, which ONLY a wise and devoted mother can bestow as the greatest of all possessions to her children."
THANKS, MOM, for everything, and God bless you!

TAKE IT EASY

2009-05-07T21:29:00.001-04:00

As a fifty something woman, I am learning to let things go...to not be burdened with regrets and hold onto negative memories in my past.
It has been said that if all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
The point is that everyone has things they could hold onto with regret, but it would be wonderful if we would make a conscious effort to free ourselves of these burdens.
Today is a new day!
What would you like to let go of today so that you can move forward with peace and happiness in your heart?

A GREAT Disappointment CAN BE AN Appointment

2009-05-07T07:36:00.000-04:00

Sometimes our greatest disappointments are God's appointments to be a blessing in someone else's life. I discovered this to be so true when I met Sarah L. Johnson on a Monday morning, late August, 2005 at the Boots Ward Community Center minutes from our home. A Red Cross Shelter had been set up there and my shift was 6:00-10:00 a.m. Sarah was a New Orleans native, 85 years old, never married and she was here in my community! Funny, she said she had always wanted to visit Atlanta, but didn't realize she would come like this. The story of how she got there is a story in and of itself. After the initial evacuation, though there was a power outage, Sarah and her fellow residents were returned to their apartments. When she heard banging on her door, she glanced out the window only to see water rushing into the streets and rising rapidly. We now know that the levies had broken down, but at that time, the residents had no idea what the rushing water was from. They were hurried to the roof of the building where they stayed overnight until a helicopter could pluck each one of them off the roof.
When boarding the helicopter, in all the confusion, this 85 year old woman lost her walker, her glasses, her shoes, and worst of all she was separated from a friend that was holding all of her IDs for her.
When I first met Sarah, she was just waking up in the Red Cross Shelter. I helped Sarah with her laundry, got her breakfast and she talked with me about her strong faith in God and how surely God had a plan for her even in this crazy situation. At the end of my shift, I gave her a hug, thinking I'd never see her again this side of heaven. A few days later, I received a phone call from a friend that had worked at the same shelter telling me that Sarah needed to see a Cardiologist and could I help her to get in to see someone. I had the blessing of taking her to a doctor the very next day. Her heart was just fine and this was the beginning of a sweet friendship, one that I will forever cherish. After four weeks at the shelter, Sarah was moved to a wonderful nearby assisted living facility where she was embraced by the other residents. She came to our church and even gathered at my sister's home for a huge family lunch! She shared her heart with me and told me why PSALM 27 was her mainstay scripture. Mama and I took her to the Martin Luther King Center in Atlanta and she shared her memories of the Civil Rights Movement.
Later, Sarah was happily returned to New Orleans to her same first floor apartment.
I believe that God gave me this opportunity to serve and help Sarah during a time when my heart was broken over the loss of my young friend, Jil.
So if you are going through a great disappointment today, look around for the appointment that may be waiting around the corner for you to be a blessing to someone today.

A LESSON LEARNED FROM MOM

2009-05-06T14:41:00.000-04:00

It has been nearly three years since my mother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer which spread quickly to her brain, taking her from her loving family just four short months later. As Mother's Day draws near again, I am choosing to celebrate my MAMA and the countless lessons I learned from her rather than feel sad that she has passed away. After all, one of the most important lessons she taught me, I apply to my life on a regular basis, and I have found this lesson to be incredibly uplifting, therapeutic, and sometimes, even life-changing! This lesson has helped me to soothe sadness many times in my past. Apply this lesson to your own life and perhaps you will have a similar experience.

THE LESSON SIMPLY PUT: If you find yourself feeling sad, blue or even depressed, help someone out. Make a difference in another person's day.

Booker T. Washington said it like this: "If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up."

This works like a charm to make your day better. I hope you will try this and find it to be true. One of my favorite quotes speaks to this:
"Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
James. M. Barrie
In August 2005, soon after Jil died suddenly, I was driving aimlessly down the road. Our children were at Wednesday night youth group, my husband was working, and I was falling into the depths of despondency as I grieved the loss of my 40 year old girlfriend.
Suddenly, I remembered this important lesson that my mother had always told me. Mama had always modeled this lesson, as well. Tragically, Hurricane Katrina and the broken levies had just flooded New Orleans. In a nearby community center, there was a Red Cross shelter, a safe haven for some of the Katrina evacuees. I drove straight to this center and found out that there was a volunteer position available for the following Monday, 6-10 a.m. I signed up and felt the sadness beginning to ease. And this is where I met Sarah L. Johnson, an eighty five year old African American woman who had never married and had resided in New Orleans her entire life. A friendship soon developed with Sarah that would change my life and you will read more about that on my next BLOG!

What lessons have you learned from your mother that you are applying to your life today?

DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING

2009-05-04T10:05:00.000-04:00

My dear friend, JIL did this...She truly danced like no one was watching and she is dancing in heaven as I type, I am sure.
On August 5, 2005, Jil drowned in an Alabama lake while her family was with her. They were delighting in the final hazy, lazy days of summer when she slipped away. Jil was 40 years old. Jil was one of these people that inspired others to laugh and love. Jil is still remembered and missed by multitudes of people!
Last night as I was looking through an old file of inspirational articles and papers, I ran across an old email that Jil had forwarded to me in 2000. Sometimes life is funny, because this email had a note from Jil attached which quoted Joan Baez:

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now."

You see, just before I received this email from Jil, she and I had participated in an Avon 3-Day 60 mile Breast Cancer Walk. We were surrounded by survivors at every turn. The walk was an incredibly stirring experience. A stirring of the soul.
An experience that changed our lives forever.
Jil's email message to me, just five years before her death, follows:

DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we ever went to New York, at least eight or nine years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words today, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia bloom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends.
SOMEDAY and ONE OF THESE DAYS are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the TOMORROW THAT WE ALL TAKE FOR GRANTED.
I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited.
Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.
Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days.
Angry and sorry that didn't tell my husband often how much I truly love him.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that this day is special.
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift.
YOU'VE got to dance like no one is watching and LOVE like it's never going to hurt.
(author of this forwarded inspirational story is unknown to me)

So, it has been nearly four years since we said "see you later" to our dear friend Jil...recalling her laughter, her smile, her cooking and gift of hospitality, her voice and how she SAW and HEARD and DID what she wanted during her forty years here...
How about you...what is it that you are saving for a special occasion?

SEIZE THE DAY

2009-05-03T21:38:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I shared about our good fortune of going to a live Kenny Loggins concert with my sister and her husband. Today I am reflecting on what events were on either side of the evening of the concert, and how important it is for me to continue to SEIZE THE DAY, doing my best to fit in the things that are important to me.
This past Thursday, five of my friends from grade school met at Lake Oconee for a girlfriend sleepover. There are actually eight of us and we call ourselves "The FFs". (Friends Forever) Just hanging out with these friends made me so thankful for friends...what a gift they are to me. Each of us is different in our own way, and we each bring something special to the table of friendship. Our friendships have lasted and strengthened through the years because we have chosen to build on our similarities instead of focusing on our differences. WE laughed, we cried and we came to solutions to some of our latest issues in life.
As the rest of the group stayed one more night, I drove home for the concert.
Yesterday, our daughter came home from college in the middle of her exam schedule. She wanted to be here for her cousin's bridal shower.
Last night gave my daughter and I an opportunity for some one on one time as we grilled steaks and watched a movie together.
Sunday brought an opportunity to worship in our church and then hurry home to host a beautiful wedding shower for our niece. This was a wonderful event and the food and fellowship was enjoyed by all.
I say all this to say, I feel very rich tonight!
Someone once said,
"If you want to feel rich, just count all the things that money can't buy."
In reading this, I hope you, too, will spend
your
days
in ways
that make you feel rich!
LET'S SEIZE THE DAY AS WE ENJOY THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE:
FAITH~~~~~~~FAMILY~~~~~~~FRIENDS

CELEBRATE ME HOME

2009-05-02T23:35:00.001-04:00

Last night, my husband and I had the good fortune to join my sister and her husband for a live concert with Kenny Loggins. These loved ones are in the midst of grieving the recent passing of their 25 year old son, Brad, and these plans were made in hopes to take some time out from being a full-time advocate for their son, who was injured in an accident on June 24, 2008 when he suffered a TBI. (see previous blog entitled, REMEMBERING BRAD for the whole story)
This concert was held in an open amphitheatre on the south side of Atlanta. The rain earlier in the day had subsided, leaving behind a wonderful, cool Spring night.
Some of our favorite greatest hits through the evening included: RETURN TO POOH CORNER, FOOTLOOSE, I'M ALLRIGHT, YOUR MAMA DON'T DANCE, and many more.
But when Kenny Loggins began the old tune CELEBRATE ME HOME, the crowd went wild.
As I sat there listening intently to the lyrics of this old familiar song...I thought again of my sister's son, our nephew, Brad, and sang this song in my heart to him...we spent ten long months not knowing if he would ever return to his normal self and we often wondered when he would get to go "home". As I took in the words while Kenny Loggins belted them out, it was confirmed to me that Brad is no longer on an uneasy highway, we can now celebrate him home.

Some of the lyrics of CELEBRATE ME HOME go like this:

It's time I found myself,
Totally surrounded in your circles
Whoa, my friends

Please celebrate me home,
Give me a number,
please, celebrate me home
Play me one more song,
That I'll always remember,
and I can recall,
Whenever I find myself too all alone,
I can sing me home.

Uneasy highway,
Traveling where the Westerly winds can fly,
Somebody tried to tell me,
But the man forgot to tell me why

Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate me home

THE ATTIC IS CLEAN, THE HEART IS LIGHT

2009-04-29T16:29:00.000-04:00

Today was the day that I finally ventured into the attic above the garage where we park our three cars. This project had been looming in the back of my mind since January 2009. After driving through our community and seeing garage sale signs everywhere and then talking to my walking buddy, Kathy, this afternoon about her plans for a sale this weekend, I knew the time had come.
This attic was filled pretty much to the max and I had not cleaned it from corner to corner in several years. In celebration of our ten year anniversary in this home, I decided about 6 months ago to unclutter every corner, every closet, all spaces would be cleaned and uncluttered. This attic would be my final project. Whooray!
So I headed upstairs with lots of empty boxes and garbage bags. I found boxes of maternity clothes (my "baby" is 17 now), baby items for both genders in every size imaginable, dishes, files from my years of teaching, books and more. A few hours later, I came out with plenty of dust and dirt all over myself, but feeling wonderful! Other than about 1/2 dozen boxes that still need to be sorted and the items I'll place on our front porch for a donation next week, the attic is clear of clutter!
There will be lots of trash on the street tomorrow when the garbage truck comes around.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) was quoted as saying "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

I agree with him! Uncluttering my home these past months has helped to unclutter my mind and my soul. It has truly been therapeutic, cathartic to unclutter our home, our safehaven, our place of refuge. I feel much freer...Jan Denise, an American Columnist, Author and Speaker, says it like this: "I've been getting rid of some clutter-anything that does not serve a positive purpose in my life-and making room for things that feel happy to me. Because I get to make my life whatever I want it to be. I get to make the room feel however I want it to feel. I get to make the closet as full or as spacious as I want it. And, if I have more clutter to get rid of after Christmas, I'm not going to wait a year, or two or three to do it."
After all, this life is not a dress rehearsal and we only get one chance.

What do you need to free your mind, home or heart from today?

BIRTHDAYS

2009-04-28T16:29:00.000-04:00

My heart friend is having a birthday tomorrow and a few of us were able to meet for lunch today to celebrate Sara's presence in our lives. As a fifty something woman, I find it more important than ever to remember birthdays and the special people each day represents.
My group of friends from Druid Hills High School and I really did it up right last year when we all turned fifty. The first thing we did was we decided that we would celebrate each birthday throughout the years with balloons, bells and whistles! Then we planned a fiftieth birthday trip to visit one of the group in Colorado. While there, we went horseback riding in the Rockies and took numerous mountain hikes through the countryside. Then when our last friend in our group of eight had her fiftieth in December 2008, we decided that we would do it all again this year for our fifty-first. What a great idea! And so in March, 2009, we began again with Mary's birthday celebration. And the plan is to do the same thing again for our fifty-second, our fifty-third and so on! NO telling what we'll do for our sixtieth!
In Henri Nouwen's book HERE AND NOW, he teaches us why birthday parties are so significant. "Birthdays need to be celebrated. I think it is more important to celebrate a birthday than a successful exam, a promotion, or a victory. Because to celebrate a birthday means to say to someone: 'Thank you for being you.' On a birthday, we do not say: 'Thanks for what you did, or said, or accomplished.' No, we say: 'Thank you for being born and being among us.'" Nicole Johnson agrees when she says: "This is the heartbeat of celebrating friendships and family. Rejoicing, honoring, applauding, commending, saluting, toasting the wonderful people in our lives."
So, here's to you on your special day wherever it might fall on the calendar.

FITNESS AND FRIENDSHIP MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

2009-04-27T17:39:00.000-04:00

I took a bike ride today by myself from the Kennesaw Mountain Visitor's Park to the Marietta Square, and back, about 3 miles each way. My plan was to ride to the square for exercise, visit our Hallmark store to purchase a few greeting cards and then ride back. I decided to visit dk gallery, a new art gallery on our square, owned by our good friend, Donna. I knew that ordinarily, Donna was not in on Mondays, but I thought I might get lucky and have an unexpected visit with her today.
The weather was beautiful for a bike ride, not too hot and not too cool...just right!
And as my good fortune would have it, Donna was in and not too busy for us to have a visit.
I once heard a quote by Seneca that fits with my day and this very special friend:
"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."
I had not had a chance to share about Brad's celebration service and all that had happened in the past couple of weeks, so we shared from our hearts for a little while. Again, I considered how very important friendship and fitness are for the 50 something woman! The bike ride was strenuous enough to make me feel like I had some exercise and my time with Donna was just enough to fill me up with love and friendship.
How about you? Are you making sure that you take care of yourself by taking time out for friendship and fitness. If not, why not?

OUR PARENTS

2009-04-26T22:29:00.000-04:00

The 50 something woman many times finds herself in the midst of taking care of aging parents while she might still be raising her children and/or helping with and loving on some grandchildren, and possibly even holding down a job, all at the same time. I can't identify with the grandchildren season at all yet, but I certainly can relate to the care of aging, and often, ailing parents.
Today, I visited the mother of one of my dear friends. This mom has Alzheimer's Disease. Did you know that 5.3 million people have been diagnosed with this disease in the United States, alone? But when the patient is your mother or father, this can be a very lonely place to be. Mrs. Land, my friend's mother was diagnosed with A.D. several years ago. At this time, she cannot speak and rarely knows her loved ones when they visit her. She cannot walk alone and is cared for 24/7 by a loving staff. This has been a lonely path for my friend, as she has often felt that she was the only one living in a situation as difficult as this.
Once again, we must remember that no matter our circumstances, we MUST make time for ourselves. Time for a power walk, time with friends, and time to BE STILL. When we allow ourselves time for just us, we will be stronger and better equipped to handle whatever the day might bring. If you know someone in your sphere of influence that is dealing with a similar experience as my friend, reach out and encourage them in some way.

Seize the moments to love your parents while you have them.
And recall the happy times if they have passed on.
Yes, remember the happy times...until you meet again on the other side.

LIVE YOUR QUESTION

2009-04-25T14:29:00.000-04:00

An anonymous poet once said: "Sometimes when you don't know the answer, live the question."
As a 50 something woman, I have realized more than ever that sometimes the questions that we have in this life do not have answers that are easy to uncover...

WHY did someone have to die so soon?
WHY can't _____ and _____ get along better?
WHY does this habit have such a strong hold on me?
WHY is this loved one living with a disability?
WHY was my husband unfaithful to me? OR
WHY did my husband die so young leaving me with the children?
FILL IN THE BLANK WITH SOME OF YOUR WHYS:_______________________________

As we journey through life, I think it is important to pray and talk to others about the issues in our lives, but sometimes the answers still don't come this side of heaven.
So what do we do?
WE LIVE THE QUESTION. We submit ourselves to the truth that we do not know the answer and we live the question, recognizing that the question may always be with us.
In the book CELEBRATION of DISCIPLINE, By, Richard Foster, the author speaks to this on page 111:
"I said that every discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. People will spend weeks, months, even a lifetime, in a perpetual stew because something did not go as they wished. They will get mad about it. They will act as if their very life hangs on the issue. They may even get an ulcer, develop health problems over it."

So, today, take a few moments to consider what "questions" have been gnawing at you, and make the choice to simply breathe and live out your days with an understanding that some of the "answers" are not for us to know just now.

REMEMBERING BRAD TODAY

2009-04-23T18:36:00.000-04:00

TODAY was truly a gift. TODAY was a day to gather with family and remember our 25 year old nephew, my sister, Laura Lea's son. TODAY was a day to remember BRAD.
TODAY was a day to celebrate the truth that God is alive and interested in the details of our lives. "TODAY was the day that the Lord made and we DID rejoice and we WERE glad in it." Psalm 118:24 ( My Mama's favorite verse in the entire Bible. She passed away in October 2006 after only 4 months of cancer and she claimed this verse daily all of her life)
Yes, TODAY was a gift I will remember always.
It began at Atlanta Hospice Chapel with 40 family members and close friends, along with many of our nephew, Brad's caretakers from the nursing home he has spent the past 4 months at.
Just a little background for those of you that are unaware and may be wondering...On June 24, 2008, Brad was 24 when he fell onto the concrete from his six four height and suffered a TBI. (traumatic brain injury) We knew right away that his injury was extremely serious and he went through brain surgery 24 hours later. Though Brad did show occasional signs of wakefulness, he never knew us and really showed few significant signs that he would make a recovery, but we, his family, kept hoping and praying. God answered our prayers in a different sort of way...After ten long months, with frequent trips to the emergency room from Signature Healthcare of Atlanta where he was being cared for, Brad passed peacefully in his sleep on Sunday night, April 19, 2009, just after he reached his 25th birthday.
(see caringbridge.org re: bradlamkie)
Now, you might be saying or at least thinking, how can we "rejoice" over such sad circumstances? Here are some of the reasons: God's provision of excellent health care every step of the way, the love, support, and prayers from friends, the realization that when we seek God, we WILL find Him, (James 4:8 and Jeremiah 29:13) the comfort that is provided by food from friends and fellowship with family at a sad time like this.
After the service, we gathered in our home to share photos and memories of Brad's short life. We enjoyed chicken pot pie, salads, an array of incredible desserts, all prepared by friends who care. WE laughed, we cried, we shared smiles and sighs. We loved on each other and held each other tightly. Our daughter came home from college to be with us. Brad's cousins traveled over from Charleston to be with us.
My sister, Laura Lea, Brad's mother, took each niece and nephew's face and said, nose to nose, "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY."
They all, each one, listened intently.
Yes, TODAY was a gift.

2009-04-20T13:57:00.000-04:00

We received some difficult news last night. Our 25 year old nephew, my sister's son, Brad, has passed away. This was expected, not shocking, still bringing sorrow to the depths of our souls.
Brad was injured in an accidental fall on June 24, 2008. He suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and went to surgery the next evening. Since then, Brad has been moved from the Neurology ICU, a Long-Term Acute Care Center, to a Nursing Home.
As I consider the past months since Brad's fall, I am once again, humbled by this family's response to this enormous tragedy.
Several images come to my mind today:
*On July 17, 2008, Brad's father's courageous acknowledgement when bad news was discussed. The doctor said "I know this is difficult news to hear", and the response was: "...and it must be very hard news to deliver as well."
*Our niece, Brad's sister, even amidst her deep sadness shared wisdom from her heart just before our Thanksgiving Feast in front of 30 family members.
*My sister, Brad's mother and the statement she made out loud within 48 hours of her son's accident: "I know God and I know, He knows me."
*Our son, Walker, Brad's cousin sharing the scripture reference Philippians 4:10-13, and stating that in all of his life, he had never seen a better example of this than the one set by his Uncle Rhys, Aunt Laura Lea and his cousin, Pamela.
All of this reminds me of a song from the play RENT. "525,600 MINUTES." Did you know that the young author of RENT was very sick and died before the opening night? This play, along with this song, spoke to the hearts of all who were blessed to be in the audience.
Why? Perhaps it is because everyone wants to experience a meaningful life while on this earth. We all want to take the minutes of our lives and make them count.

The song goes like this:

525,600 minutes.
525,600 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes,
How do we measure a year?

In daylights-in sunsets,
In midnights-in cups of coffee,
In inches-in miles,
In laughter-in strife.

In 525,600 minutes.
How do we measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.

Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.
525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.

525,600 minutes.
How do we measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried,
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died.

It's time now-to sing out
Tho'the story never ends.
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Remember the love.
Measure the love.

Measure, measure your life in LOVE.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.

So as we remember Bradford Gordon Lamkie, born on April 16, 1984, we will measure his life in love.
It is with great assurance that I can say that the best things in life are not things at all.
They are FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS.

FILL UP YOUR TANK WITH LOVE!

2009-04-19T15:41:00.000-04:00

Our small group in church is studying the book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate, By, Gary Chapman. Today, we were talking about Chapter 2~Keeping the Love Tank Full. "Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse deserts, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unberable, and hardships our plight in life."
While this author's main emphasis is on the husband and wife relationship, I would like for us to take a look at self-love for the 50 something woman.
Yes, everyone needs love, that is clear, but we also need to extend love to ourselves, giving ourselves mercy and grace as we journey through this life. Again, we expend a lot of time and energy caring for and loving the people in our homes and we must not forget to love ourselves...treat ourselves with kindness. That means we cannot allow ourselves to be in the habit of repetitive self criticism, working ourselves to exhaustion, living an unbalanced life with no time for rest, relaxation, restoration and recreation.
How is your love tank looking? Are you running on empty? Let's not wait for others to fill it up, let's fill it up ourselves! Give yourself an "atta girl!" today.

SATURDAY, SATURDAY, EVER LOVING SATURDAY

2009-04-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

Today is Saturday, and a rather quiet one here in our home. I am not complaining, only remembering Saturdays in the past that were not so quiet.
From my personal journal:

Saturday, August 4, 2007
"Today is the day..." Mama's favorite verse in the Bible. (Note: My Mama passed away on 10/24/06 just 4 months after a cancer diagnosis)
"Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 118:24
It is 11:00 a.m. and we will get in our packed pick-up truck at 12:30 to drive all Leah's STUFF to Auburn University. She'll come home with us and then return on Monday 8/6/07 to begin RUSH and her freshman year.
I awakened at 8:30 a.m. after a deep night's sleep. Since then, I cooked a wonderful breakfast for Leah and Walker-cheese eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, biscuits, juice.
Of all the many breakfasts I've prepared for both kids, this was the last one before our life changes forever. Our little girl, our first born, goes to college today.
The good news is that all of this change is GOOD change. She is amazingly healthy. She is bright. She is extremely happy with her college choice. She is a child of God. All of that, (and much more!) is much, very much, to be thrilled about...and I am!
But of course, part of me weeps over the passage of time-my memory bank is FULL of so many times with Leah-her riding in the seat of the grocery cart, playing in the balls at McDonalds, riding in a limo in Chicago when she was photographed for cover of American Girl magazine in 1998, helping with and loving on her little brother, floor play with her Daddy, dressed in formal wear with a handsome young man ready to go to the prom, and SO MUCH MORE!
All of these times take me back to a time when she was smaller and really needed me. What I must remember is that the need is still there, but it is very different. Her greater need now is to find out who she will be come and she is doing just that today. We are blessed to have a strong love relationship between us.
So, as my friend, Donna, advised, I will embrace this season.
It is a season I wouldn't want to miss for anything in the world.

GIVE YOURSELF A PRESENT!

2009-04-17T14:43:00.000-04:00

Last Christmas, one of the main things I wanted for a gift was a new pair of walking shoes. In the midst of my weight loss journey, I had worn the tread off of my old ones.
Opening this gift on Christmas morning was wonderful! Later after the tree was done and wrapping paper was everywhere, I decided to go work out on the treadmill. The cool part of this was that in my whole life, I had never even thought about working out on Christmas Day. In the past, the day was filled with food preparation, gifts, family, perhaps a nap after a huge feast.
However, Christmas Day 2008 was different because I decided to give myself a present! The gift to myself was to take time out for a good, calorie-burning workout. And I did it!
Since then, whenver I take time out to work out in some way, I always consider it a present to myself. How about you? Have you given yourself a gift lately?
Remember that consistently doing some type of exercise is more important than the type or amount of exercise.

LIVE YOUR DREAM

2009-04-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

I was at our son, Walker's tennis banquet tonight and spoke with friend of mine about this "season" of our lives. She had been reading my blog and we talked about how so many of us feel a little out of sorts when our children leave the home and "the children" have been our main job, if not our only one, for many, many years.
Let's all take time out to consider and then realize our dreams...perhaps just like Susan Boyle, a candidate in the Britain's Got Talent 2009 contest.
My friend, Lynn sent this to me via email and I had to share it with you!
If you have not seen Susan's performance, you must as soon as possible.
Go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PP1KOyaqaQ

After you view this, consider what your dream, your passion is, then let's go after them together!

Let me know what you think about Susan Boyle's "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

WHICH PATH?

2009-04-15T17:50:00.000-04:00

Today as I was driving home, there was a huge traffic jam in my community, a suberb just north of Atlanta. All of the roads within blocks from the square in all directions were tangled up with congestion. I was on a road just a few cars from a RR crossing, which should have been a fine route home, except for the fact that the train was sitting at a dead stop.
What to do? Which route to take? Do I wait on the train? If so, will it be a terribly long wait? As I sat and processed all this, many commuters behind me had already begun to make their decision and were turning around. I was hesitant to do this because as I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw that all the roads were blocked. So, I choose to sit and wait. 5, 10, 20, 25 minutes while cars all around me choose to perform u-turns. I open both windows and allow the cool spring day to blow into my car. I hear shouts of the children at a nearby church playground, and I wait on this train that may never move.
As I continued to wait, I thought about how in life we have a lot of paths we can choose. I was reminded of Robert Frost's memorable poem:
"The Road Not Taken"
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,...and I-took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Now that we are 50 something women, it may seem that we are faced with more news than usual, and the news, unfortunately, is not always good. Maybe it is because our circle of friends has broadened as we have grown. Perhaps it is because we have greater knowledge, greater wisdom, shall I say, about what can come about as life progresses.
Whatever the reason, it would do our hearts good to consider what path we will take when faced with difficult news. We can collapse into nothingness...and if we do that for a bit, it is understandable. We can decide to take the path of courage amidst trial and follow down that path with encouragement from God and friends who care. WE might choose anger and stay stuck there for awhile. And sometimes news will just cause us to sit and wait until it sinks in. If we really stop and think about it, we can even choose to look for the upside of a situation. As I waited for the train to move, an elderly gentleman, a pedestrian, walked over to my car and instructed me on how, in his opinion, I should turn around and find a new route. And I did...arriving home in less than a half hour.
Which path will you choose today?

YES, It's a new day!

2009-04-14T08:32:00.000-04:00

Now that I believe I am back on track with my fitness and food plan, I want to share a few things that I have found to be very helpful. First of all, fitness is vital for us to feel good the rest of our journey. So, I look for ways to get fit at every turn! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! Take the stairs, never the elevator. Park far from the store fronts. Walk the dog. Hike a mountain. Take a power walk with a heart friend. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
And now for a word from Bob Greene's Best Life program: "Although the scale may inch up during or after a holiday, keep in mind that weight fluctuations are perfectly normal. To gain an actual pound of body fat, you'd have to consume a lot of calories: 3,500 to be exact-and this is on top of what you normally eat in a given day. And even if the number on the scale does climb, that doesn't mean you've gained actual body fat. When you step on a scale, you're weighing muscle, bone, body fat, water (one gallon weighs 8 lbs), undigested food, and waste that your body has not eliminated yet." (see thebestlife.com for more)
Another resource I have found to be very motivating is a paperback book you can pick up anywhere: YOUNGER NEXT YEAR By, Chris Crowley & Henry S. Lodge, M.D. There is copy for women (hot pink) and one for men (bright yellow) My copy is torn and tattered and highlighted because I have read and reread many parts of it in the past year.
I don't know about you, but my main goal has become to FEEL GOOD, not to get skinny for some special reunion, wedding or another occasion. Very simply to feel good and be as healthy as I can be.
So here we go! Today is a new day!

POWER OUTAGE

2009-04-13T15:36:00.000-04:00

I have spoken with three close girlfriends in the past 24 hours and we have talked through personal issues. What great comfort and therapy it is to have a girlfriend, a heart friend, that you know you can trust with your deepest concerns! As we bantered back and forth, these friends and I, it was confirmed to me once again how hard this life is. In fact, the first line in Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Traveled is: LIFE IS DIFFICULT. Even though the circumstances I discussed with each of these friends was very different, the bottom line was the same...Life can deal you some pretty tough cards.
How we play our cards, many times determines how our future unfolds. However, more likely, we will have times that we have to just let go and accept things as they are. My Mama raised six children and as we grew up into adults, I remember her saying often that she was not "worried" about a particular situation, but that she was definitely "concerned". Maybe that was her way of caring, but not carrying the burden that was on her heart.
This reminds me of the Serenity Prayer that I believe is vital for the 50 something woman as we journey through our days:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
One thing I do know is that the power that is in GOD is a power I would not want to live without. This morning, our community had a rough rainstorm and we lost all electirical power in our home for more than three hours. As I meandered through our home, I would flip a switch and receive no light because of the outage.
Once our power was restored, I began to think about what life would be like without power...and worse, what if we had no Divine Creator to turn to, to pray to. Where would we be?
All three of these heart friends seek God in their journey and the Word promises that when we seek Him, we will find Him. There is much power in seeking and finding the Living God and we can be assured that there will never be a power outage with Him!

THE CAB RIDE

2009-04-12T17:49:00.000-04:00

As I checked my email today, I came upon the following story, a forward from my friend, Jolie. I think it serves as a grand reminder, no matter our age, that life is not a dress rehearsal. WE ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO LIVE AND TO LOVE!

THE CAB RIDE

I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute,"answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her nineties stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like someone out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing, "I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy,"she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way, "I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said..."I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left,"she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like to take." I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and we would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of the sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living,"she answered.

"There are other passengers." I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of JOY." she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~
THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

"WE CAN DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE." Mother Teresa